Well, I have gone to media heaven. It started with a Netflix account. This thing is great, aside from the waiting for things to go through the mail. I got fed up with Blockbuster not having a copy of The Lost Skeleton of Cadavera in stock. I have the rewards things so if I get a new release I get a non-new release free. Well, the only other movie I wanted was another new release (Primer). So I was starting to feel a bit boned. So I said screw that and a few days later got a Netflix account as a present. Now I get movies delivered to my door and I get a new one as soon as I finish copying them and sending them back. I mean… Yeah, that’s pretty much it.
Step two of media heaven happened about a week later. Clarissa, Pete & Pete and Danger Mouse came in the mail! You know what that means? It means that I just need to copy Ren And Stimpy and burn Are You Afraid of The Dark. Then: SNICK party at my place. And it will rock. I think I might even be able to get a hold of an episode of Roundhouse. If anyone can help me with Roundhouse, let me know. Elusive early 90’s bastard child of sketch comedy and cheesy choreography, I call on thee!
The final, and possibly most impressive, step of mission media heaven is Star Wars. I have episodes 4-6 on DVD. And not the way Lucas wants me to. I have (with complete file system transfer) the Definitive Edition Laserdisc rips. We’re talking no shrinking, full menu carry over, chapter breaks, commentary track and THX sound. And not the Special Editions. The original theatrical releases. Han shoots first, Jabba doesn’t show up at the Mos Eisley Space Port and the Yub-Yub song is there in all its glory at the end of Jedi!
I know a lot of people out there will probably want copies because, honestly, I don’t think anyone out there would prefer the “special editions”. Do you? Nah. I won’t sell them because that’s all super-illegal and kind of dick. But what would be ruder is to not share them either. If you want a set, drop a line.
I haven’t been planted in front of the TV for weeks, though. I’ve seen some daylight. Went to AC, breaking about even. I saw Batman Begins on IMAX there, though that‘s back in front of a screen I guess. A really big screen though! I also went to a Renaissance Fair and ran into my friend Natalie at a diner afterwards. Why are they called Renaissance Fairs? They’re based around the dark ages so their timing is way off. And some of those sword sellers are the most desperate, socially inept and undersexed wankers you’ll ever meet. Honestly, someone should show up and reveal the secret that being a clingy, off colour-joke cracking, BO wafting hairy man with knives doesn’t make you an ideal choice as a friend or mate. So, so creepy.
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