I wish I (wasn't) a farmer.

I got paid for two days at the library this week for not showing up.  It really makes you think.  There are so many other place I didn't go this week and they didn't give me anything.  Now I will perpetually feel ripped off.

Netflix streaming

Some of you know and some of you don't but Netflix has slowly been adding members into its Watch Now program.  Watch Now is Netflix's answer to Blockbuster's Total Access or whatever they call it, as well as Vongo and all those other streaming services.  I read Hacking Netflix because I like to take full advantage off any service I use, even if that includes taking advantage of it in a slightly more sinister meaning.  Hacking Netflix is actually a pretty innocent tech blog but they are incredibly up to date with news.  That's how I heard about Watch Now.  It's also how I heard that they started letting people use it by adding a new tab to their account.  Then I saw that it was restricted.  I was sad.  Then I saw this article and got in after nearly a week of trying.  It is pretty tasty.

Here's an FAQ about it and if you search "watch now" on the Netflix site you'll get all the info there is to know about it.  I'll give you a bit of the big points and let you know what to be wary of. 

• It's going to be (is if you have it) free.  Whatever you pay a month, that's how many hours you get.
• There are 3 levels of video quality based on your internet speed.  I get good or high on my desktop.  Usually I click retest until it says I have a fast enough connection for high quality before I watch.  I get low on my laptop with wireless net.  Low is watchable on a monitor and looks like a regular channel on a TV screen.
• It's in browser and stream only.  No downloading to take with you on a trip.  But in that case, just get the DVD from Netflix.  Right?
• Here's a catch.  It only works with XP and Internet Explorer.  I know.  Boo, hiss.  I did that too.  Then I updated IE for security and reset the homepage to open up to the Watch Now tab.  Don't think of it as IE, think of it as a Netflix movie viewer.  Feel better?

Now, here's a big, huge warning.  Wait. 
Warning. 
That was.  Do not close the window or try and back up while you're loading a movie for the first time.  The very first time it will have you install what they call the Netflix viewer.  It's less than a meg and works inside of Media Player so it's honestly more of a plug-in.  It installs before you can complain.  Then it will pop up a window for you to log into Netflix for a license for the movie.  This is where you must not try to leave the page.  I went through the whole thing on my desktop unit and it was smooth as butter.  I then went to put it on my laptop which I use as a media PC.  I got a hiccup in my connection so I closed the window while it was loading but before it got a proper license from the server.  I went nuts because after that it would only display an error.  I reboot, reinstalled the viewer, hand deleted my DRM keys, moved the DRM keys over from my desktop, created new windows users.  All I had to do, in the end, was reinstall Media Player.  Last think you check for, as always.  Works now.  So I figured I'd share that with you and save you any trouble you might otherwise have encountered.

On to the service itself.  It is fun.  There's a link right there to show you what's available to watch now that's already in your queue.  It's an incredibly useful link.  The choices are slim compared to the DVDs.  This is probably for legal reasons.  Distribution and cable release contracts and the like.  The FAQ says they have about 1,000 and should have 5,000 by the end of the year.  It's a supplement without a doubt.  Not a DVD rental replacement.  Most of these are indie and foreign which suits me just fine.  There were 12 movies available from my queue of 410.  That's really more of an average since I keep a separate user list for most of my additions ever since I filled up my queue (500 movie limit) and couldn't add more.  (If you want to be able to create user lists then just write at least 2 reviews and it'll show up on the bottom of the right side tool bar on your main page after a day or 2.  Unless they opened that feature to everyone as well.)  Also, if you do a regular search and it is also in their streaming collection there will be a Watch Now button right over the Add to Queue button.

That's it for now.  I'm still toying around with is since I only have 8 days till my Hour Limit starts over and my full monthly quota to burn.  It's flawed and limited but a very nice entry into streaming competition.  Also, it's sweet to be one of the first to get it.  Now when June comes around and everyone has it I can feel superior because I was using it before it was big. 

G'night you posers.

Horrible books for horrible children

I'd like to tell you all about an exciting new opportunity.  I am creating a book club for children.  While taking books from the discard cart and removing them from the system I found a selection that are, well, wrong.  Simply wrong.  So now I thought I'd share with you these books.  If you want to frighten your children or other people's children then get them these.

Honestly, I kept having to remind myself that the books I was hold were real.  I felt as if I had been dropped in a sketch comedy show.  But no.  They were real.  And they still are.

I brought them home to share the experience with you.  And now; prepare to be shocked, amazed and horrified beyond your wildest dreams! And since not all children like the same type of terror I will divide them up.

The 'Horrible Books for Horrible Children' Book Club"

Boring

	Full Title: This Union Cause The Growth of Organized Labor in America I don't think I need to make fun of this one.  But please, name me one kid who won't fall asleep to that.
	Are you fucking kidding me?
	The director of my library told me that it was a shame how many books don't get checked out.  I picked this off the top of the cart and told her that some of them aren't really surprising.

Subtly Disturbing

	Please take notice that off all the many countries that they could have used to represent the world, they had to sneak one of the Elders of Zion all the way up top. The book also talks about how all countries are divided up by the UN into one of two categories: communist and non-communist.
	The inside only shows pictures of hobos.  Really, it is a hobo reference book.  Or, as hobos like to call them, "tiny blankets".

Nightmarish

Kids like disaster movies because the cute dog always lives.  Kids do not like real disasters where people are forced to eat the cute dog.  And that was many years ago.

Are you shitting me?  These are real books?  Do they come with a social worker?

	Sally Can't See (that there's a fucking bird on her head) Apparently she also doesn't have a sense of touch.  According to the rest of the book her hobbies include putting on headphones and petting dead fish.
	Steven went on to learn to write.  He then penned a sequel: My Sister Harriet is a Pretty Big Bitch.
	Don't Feel Sorry for Paul Why?  Just because god doesn't? Click for a much larger version where you can see that he does not have a hook-hand but rather the worlds first prosthetic butter knife-hand.

I know that some of those were tasteless.  But please bear in mind that none of those comments come anywhere near as close to the level of terrible horrible tackiness that the actual books do.

If anyone wants one of these, please let me know.  I have them all at my apartment and will give them out on a first request basis.  If no one asks, I'll put them back into the library book sale.

Chad, give this post a funny review/pun.

In an effort to continue to post often I'm going to try and review a lot of stuff.  Since I have Netflix, work at a library and listen to music and audio books during my full time job I should find some things here and there to talk about. Lucky Number Slevin I don't have a rating system of stars or anything in place so I just have to say that I cannot, in good conscience, recommend the experience of watching this movie. It starts out as one of those new gangster pics.  You know the ones.  There's a few (seemingly) unconnected scenes of violence, Bruce Willis shows up as a hit man, there's some slick slightly over-saturated shots and someone (Josh Hartnett) suffers from a case of mistaken identity.  But it's not good.  I left the film with the distinct impression that it was inspired by wallpaper.  Seriously, each setting had a ridiculous wallpaper that was highlighted through isolated camera shots. If Quintin Tarantino inexplicably became obsessed with the bathroom wallpaper scene from Garden State then Lucky Number Slevin is the first film he would make. But that's all superficial.  Let me get into the craftsmanship behind the movie and why it doesn't work an many fundamental levels.  If you take any single shot from this movie it will look at best, incredibly interesting and at worst, average.  The filming is sometimes a little forced when trying to establish itself.  For example, flashbacks are shown in bleached out choppy film rates.  Most of the time.  The visuals alone, as I said, are good.  Together they simply don't fit in any way.  It's not that they fit badly but that from shot to shot, sub plot to sub plot, they really don't show that they have any thing in common.  The dialogue is the same.  Since Slevin is in life or death situations but is supposed to be a smart-ass he has many amusing quips to deliver.  And he does.  Alone any one line would sound good in the preview, look good on a poster and quote well in a review.  Together they do not form a script.  In fact, the many pieces of this movie add up to something noticeably less than their parts.  It's too much fluff.  And there's not nearly as much effort in tying the threads together as there was in producing the film This becomes painfully obvious towards the end.  I'm betting you've seen movies where many people have individual plots and then at the end they all come together and it turns out to be bits of one big story!  Wow!  Yeah, not here.  Though we are told that it is.  Let's see what I can do without giving away the ending. The little plots and unconnected events are one big plot.  The movie only lets us know this by (and I mean this literally) sitting everyone down and delivering a speech about it.  No smooth writing where characters slowly realize the growing gestalt.  No jaw dropping twists where two people turn out to be one or related or went to the same high school 10 years ago.  One of the characters simply tells everyone else, as well as the audience, all the missing pieces that the film never supplies through development.  Also, the movie changes from a crime and gangster film to a revenge story, thus negating nearly all of the development and motivation established thus far. In the end the feeling of being cheated was so great that any suspension I had afforded the movie went out the window.  There is a trade off in these sorts of criminal movies.  The more enjoyable it is then the more leeway we give it.  Great movies acknowledge this and use the extra wiggle room to set the stage for something great later on.  Pulp Fiction.  Some simply play off the fun and leave it at that.  Oceans 11.  Some movies have an solid story and then use your suspension to simply stretch the fun out of it.  Get Shorty.  This movie uses that advantage to drag the viewer towards the end and then dump an unrelated conclusion out on the floor.  The big twists are easily called early on.  The little ones are revealed throughout but have no influence in the plot.  It's just one interesting visual detail after another only to get to the end which is one unrelated detail after another. I guess I'm done saying that it's a disappointing movie.  Each instance tries to be cool and smooth and each individual instant, as a unit, is.  Maybe that's why the movie as a whole is such a let down.  The end result never delivers on what is constantly promised. Aside:  If anyone has any ideas for a simple rating system that's a bit more useful than a simple 5-star set-up, let me know.

What are you doing new years?

How much did you party?

Side note:  I find my Netflix top 10 really funny right now.

1. Jesus Camp
2. La Moustache
3. Underworld: Evolution
4. Le Samourai
5. The Last Kiss
6. The Producers
7. Josie and the Pussycats
8. Sketches of Frank Gehry
9. When Do We Eat?
10. Doom

I'm a little ashamed of Doom but Chad recommended it.  I'm in a spiral of depression over Underworld but I am in a mood for something completely mindless to watch.  The first one did make me nearly swear off ever watching movies all together but I need the cinematic equivalent of empty calories.  I am not ashamed of Josie.  I thought it was hilarious.  And I want Al to see it.  As for Underworld and Doom; it could be worse.  It could be American Psycho.  Ah!  In reference to number 8, keep this in mind if you need to buy me a nice gift.