WTF, it's the new year. Netflix WTF!

I'll come clean with you; I don't remember what the last review I was supposed to do was or even if I wrote it up. That speaks to how memorable the experience was so I'm starting 2010 with a clean WTF slate. Here are some titles I've been tagging. So, on to the list.

Oh, the voting! I'm trying something new.

Megafault

This is how the world will remember Brittany Murphy.

Crusade: A March Through Time

Look, a kids movie about a soccer player traveling back in time to join the Crusades. Awesome?

Single White Female 2: The Psycho

Lead should be played by Lara Flynn Boyle and called SWF 2: The Psycho Hose Beast

The Skeleton Key 2: 667 Neighbor of the Beast

Seems to have nothing to do with Skeleton Key. Or film making.

Princess of Mars

Traci Lords as the princess. What could possibly go wrong?

Ghost Machine

It's probably going to suck if there's a computer game that looks real and the movie plays out inside it (I'm looking at you, William Gibson episode of X-Files). It's also bad news if the term “techno-thriller” is used in the description.

Death Warrant

JCVD (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is a Canadian Mountie. 'Nuff said.

The Breed

FBI agent falls for vampire. Movie ensues. I'm wary of anything that describes a character played by Bai Ling as “stunningly beautiful” and not “kind of slutty, trust me you will recognize her”.

Far Cry

Another game-to-movie adaptation excreted by Uwe Boll. These will always make the list.

Angels & Demons

I read the book. I saw the first movie. I read the science articles responding to this movie. I expect it to be as realistic as The Core but without the self effacing satire.

Sand Serpents

Rip off of Tremors... now with 100% more Taliban!

Transmorphers: Fall of Man

Not just a blatant rip-off. A blatant rip-off sequel of a bad movie! It's meta.

Netflix: WTF - The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror!

SPECIAL NOTE: For a podcast review of this movie and an interview of Netflix: WTF check out my special guest appearance on the About12Minutes podcast here!

So this time around I was stuck watching a movie called The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. And terror abounded as I prepared to watch the movie. You see, it was up against some stellar competition, including a Steven Segal vampire flick as well as the Stephen Baldwin picture Sharks in Venice. Not only that, but my friends and I have been burned before. There was a “movie” “about” a zombie rabbit we tried to watch and simply couldn’t. I use quotes since it was only a movie in the sense that any motion picture is a move-ie and I hesitate to use the term “about” since it wasn’t really about anything. I don’t even think I posted a review of it since we got through about 20 minutes and then had to turn it off or risk seizures. I feared this may be the same quality, come to kill me.

And in that context I feel safe saying I was pleasantly surprised by The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. It wasn’t good but it actually pulled off campy moderately well. The premise is that a group of gay couples all end up at this bed and breakfast run by a psychotic right wing Christian mother and her sexually repressed daughter. It’s done on video tape but the quality is relatively good. The couples show up one after another and each one is a pre-made stereotype. You have the young guy with his older sugar-daddy, there’re the two artsy lesbians, the two lipstick lesbians, a butch leather couple, a resident fag-hag. They’re here to be killed, not to break stereotypes.

And break stereotypes the do not. There’s some nearly anonymous cheating, illicit rendezvous in the pool house and then the killing begins. And it’s actually kind of funny. It’s so over the top bad, with over the top crappy props and over the top bad acting that it actually is campy. A lot of movies fail at camp because they try to be a funny movie on no budget. This succeeds because the parts you aren’t laughing with, you’re laughing at.

By the end there are a couple of what would be called twists in a normal movie but in this are really just the logical evolution of “what can we do to make this a little sicker”. Think Ed Wood raised on John Waters and this is pretty much that bastard child.

On a scale of -5 to +5 The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror gets a +2 for entertainment. If it were trying to be a real movie it would be a -2 but that is surely not the case here.