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Monday, January 25, 2010

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

WTF, it's the new year. Netflix WTF!

I'll come clean with you; I don't remember what the last review I was supposed to do was or even if I wrote it up. That speaks to how memorable the experience was so I'm starting 2010 with a clean WTF slate. Here are some titles I've been tagging. So, on to the list.


Oh, the voting! I'm trying something new.




Megafault

This is how the world will remember Brittany Murphy.

Crusade: A March Through Time

Look, a kids movie about a soccer player traveling back in time to join the Crusades. Awesome?


Single White Female 2: The Psycho

Lead should be played by Lara Flynn Boyle and called SWF 2: The Psycho Hose Beast


The Skeleton Key 2: 667 Neighbor of the Beast

Seems to have nothing to do with Skeleton Key. Or film making.


Princess of Mars

Traci Lords as the princess. What could possibly go wrong?


Ghost Machine

It's probably going to suck if there's a computer game that looks real and the movie plays out inside it (I'm looking at you, William Gibson episode of X-Files). It's also bad news if the term “techno-thriller” is used in the description.


Death Warrant

JCVD (Jean-Claude Van Damme) is a Canadian Mountie. 'Nuff said.


The Breed

FBI agent falls for vampire. Movie ensues. I'm wary of anything that describes a character played by Bai Ling as “stunningly beautiful” and not “kind of slutty, trust me you will recognize her”.


Far Cry

Another game-to-movie adaptation excreted by Uwe Boll. These will always make the list.


Angels & Demons

I read the book. I saw the first movie. I read the science articles responding to this movie. I expect it to be as realistic as The Core but without the self effacing satire.


Sand Serpents

Rip off of Tremors... now with 100% more Taliban!

Transmorphers: Fall of Man

Not just a blatant rip-off. A blatant rip-off sequel of a bad movie! It's meta.