Chad, give this post a funny review/pun.

In an effort to continue to post often I'm going to try and review a lot of stuff.  Since I have Netflix, work at a library and listen to music and audio books during my full time job I should find some things here and there to talk about. Lucky Number Slevin I don't have a rating system of stars or anything in place so I just have to say that I cannot, in good conscience, recommend the experience of watching this movie. It starts out as one of those new gangster pics.  You know the ones.  There's a few (seemingly) unconnected scenes of violence, Bruce Willis shows up as a hit man, there's some slick slightly over-saturated shots and someone (Josh Hartnett) suffers from a case of mistaken identity.  But it's not good.  I left the film with the distinct impression that it was inspired by wallpaper.  Seriously, each setting had a ridiculous wallpaper that was highlighted through isolated camera shots. If Quintin Tarantino inexplicably became obsessed with the bathroom wallpaper scene from Garden State then Lucky Number Slevin is the first film he would make. But that's all superficial.  Let me get into the craftsmanship behind the movie and why it doesn't work an many fundamental levels.  If you take any single shot from this movie it will look at best, incredibly interesting and at worst, average.  The filming is sometimes a little forced when trying to establish itself.  For example, flashbacks are shown in bleached out choppy film rates.  Most of the time.  The visuals alone, as I said, are good.  Together they simply don't fit in any way.  It's not that they fit badly but that from shot to shot, sub plot to sub plot, they really don't show that they have any thing in common.  The dialogue is the same.  Since Slevin is in life or death situations but is supposed to be a smart-ass he has many amusing quips to deliver.  And he does.  Alone any one line would sound good in the preview, look good on a poster and quote well in a review.  Together they do not form a script.  In fact, the many pieces of this movie add up to something noticeably less than their parts.  It's too much fluff.  And there's not nearly as much effort in tying the threads together as there was in producing the film This becomes painfully obvious towards the end.  I'm betting you've seen movies where many people have individual plots and then at the end they all come together and it turns out to be bits of one big story!  Wow!  Yeah, not here.  Though we are told that it is.  Let's see what I can do without giving away the ending. The little plots and unconnected events are one big plot.  The movie only lets us know this by (and I mean this literally) sitting everyone down and delivering a speech about it.  No smooth writing where characters slowly realize the growing gestalt.  No jaw dropping twists where two people turn out to be one or related or went to the same high school 10 years ago.  One of the characters simply tells everyone else, as well as the audience, all the missing pieces that the film never supplies through development.  Also, the movie changes from a crime and gangster film to a revenge story, thus negating nearly all of the development and motivation established thus far. In the end the feeling of being cheated was so great that any suspension I had afforded the movie went out the window.  There is a trade off in these sorts of criminal movies.  The more enjoyable it is then the more leeway we give it.  Great movies acknowledge this and use the extra wiggle room to set the stage for something great later on.  Pulp Fiction.  Some simply play off the fun and leave it at that.  Oceans 11.  Some movies have an solid story and then use your suspension to simply stretch the fun out of it.  Get Shorty.  This movie uses that advantage to drag the viewer towards the end and then dump an unrelated conclusion out on the floor.  The big twists are easily called early on.  The little ones are revealed throughout but have no influence in the plot.  It's just one interesting visual detail after another only to get to the end which is one unrelated detail after another. I guess I'm done saying that it's a disappointing movie.  Each instance tries to be cool and smooth and each individual instant, as a unit, is.  Maybe that's why the movie as a whole is such a let down.  The end result never delivers on what is constantly promised. Aside:  If anyone has any ideas for a simple rating system that's a bit more useful than a simple 5-star set-up, let me know.