I know librarians are all powerful, but...

But if you're on the internet in the library and a picture doesn't come up on a web page... do not try to make the librarian fix it.  It's the internet.  Complain to the site administrator.  I don't care if you're 12.  You're a dumb-ass.

People suck.

I've been thinking that all people suck.  Republicans, democrats, anarchists (well, duh).  This is sort of just a nail in the coffin.  It's not the cause of the death by any means, but if humanity ever makes a miraculous resurrection (is there any other kind?) then it'll stop that zombie mother fucker from climbing out.

I think this can sum it all up for us.

Dead famous guy.  You heard it first!

Looks like Jerry Falwell is now dead.  He's going... home.
I have your baby in me, giraffe.

I'd link to a news site about it, but it's not posted yet.  However, you can take a look at the Wikipedia entry about him.  I'm sure the post will be edited there, so I'll include a screen cap as well.

EDIT Looks like Wikipedia has been fixed, locked and conjugated to past tense since I started writing this post.  So enjoy the above images, as they were only online for maybe 4 minutes. 

I need help making a band logo!

I'm trying to come up with a logo for my band, Schrödinger's Banana (EDIT).  This is a test sheet of what I have so far.

Please let me know which ones you guys like.  Vote now!

In case you don't like any of the above, a complete list of bananas (that sounds weird) can be found here.

Spiderman 3

Let me start by saying this:  It was terrible.  Bad?  No.  Terrible.  Want to know why?

Let's start with the acting.  I know Kirsten Dunst isn't the greatest actress ever, but what is with decent people sinking to the level of the movie they're in?  This is like Natalie Portman doing the robot in all three Star Wars flicks.  Toby?  He can act.  He just chooses not to.  Yes, Sam Raimi is largely to blame for handing them shit to work with.  What would you expect to find in a litter box?  An Oscar?  Probably not.

Raimi does seem to be mostly to blame.  Granted, the writing is bad.  But it's not as bad as Spiderman 2.  That was laughable.  I was actually a little disgusted, after getting worked up when I saw Chabon's name in the opening credits.  The main villain isn't Venom.  It's not Harry as Green Goblin Jr.  It's not Sandman.  It's the Black Parade that tempts Peter Parker with it's emo crying and copious amounts of eyeliner.  It turns out that the symbiote suit doesn't bring out aggression, it makes the wearer a pimp.  What was with the 20 minute pelvis pumping marathon?  Honestly, did the camera operators get hazard pay?  If you notice, the women in the background all look disgusted as his dry humps all of the models that happen to be passing him at that moment.  I know how they feel. 

But don't worry.  None of the villains have more than 3 or four lines.  The Sandman has a sappy "save my daughter who has every disease" backstory.  I'm really surprised that she wasn't stuck at the bottom of a well, to boot.  To balance that out, they make his origin story incredibly "funny".  He enters a particle physics experiment site.  Apparently, in the Marvel universe, "particles" does not mean molecules, atoms and sub-atomic particles, but rather sand.  And the best place to experiment with sand?  (Why are they trying to reconstruct sand?)  I know, an open air pit.  It's not like the sand will blow away or anything.  Eddie Brock (Venom without the Venom) is forced onto us with his beautiful baggage of Gwen Stacy.  It's made painfully clear that Brock is a parallel of Parker.  Same job, gonna propose to his girl, ends up with a hand me down suit from Spiderman.  I kept thinking that Topher Grace would have been better as Peter Parker.  He was supposed to be a wise ass in the movie, but Spiderman is supposed to be a wise ass in the comics...  So he's pitted against  the same problems as Parker.  Parker goes back to his normal self when he turns away from the Emo side of the force.  Brock becomes Venom and tries to claw Spiderman's face off.  But why, when Parker faces bigger stresses like being a superhero, and Brock has a lighter outlook to begin with?  It just doesn't make sense.  Also, Howard seems unnecessary, but is still more nuanced, cuter and more interesting.  Parker: leave your super-needy, bitchy, catty, jealous MJ and grab a piece of that Gwen.   Side note:  Why do they have a blond playing the redhead and a redhead playing a blond?  Just asking.

Sure, the acting is sub-par, the script seems like it was outlined on toilet paper and the special effects haven't gotten any better since Spiderman one.  But that's not the real problem.  It's Raimi.  Normally he has a quirky, goofy style.  In one it worked well for a high school kid.  The second movie seemed to suffer a tad from it.  The "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" scene?  I suppose some people might think it's cute.  But in this?  It's almost malicious, the way he destroys scene after scene.  Sure, I left the second one thinking it was crappy.  But Doc Oc was well done.  I will acknowledge the good parts of the film.  This one is nothing but pain.  There were scenes where the audience was supposed to feel for the characters (like when MJ and Peter were crying on the bridge) and everyone in the theatre started to howl with laughter.  And it was that bad.  It seemed that Sam Raimi was mad at Spiderman fans.  Have they forsaken him and I did not know it?  I thought most people liked the second one.  Then why was he attacking them with such malice?  Allison describes the feeling she got from this as "It was as if he was giving a huge middle finger to everyone who saw it, and telling them to sit and spin on it."  The people I was with turned to me and said that X3 didn't seem so bad anymore.  I said that maybe Elektra deserved a second viewing. 

So the question I was left with was why did Sam Raimi actively try to make something so crappy?  Did something terrible happen behind the scenes?  Was he mad that they were already considering other directors for the 4th?  Something like this doesn't happen by accident.  X3 happens by accident.  That was careless, poorly plotted, schlock editing, and a disregard for the feel of the previous two.  But it suffered from an overzealous desire to make "cool scenes".  That's a well intentioned bomb.  Spiderman 3?  It was almost cruelly directed.  The action scenes were laughable (like when Spiderman suddenly manages to fly horizontally down the 3 mile back alley when fighting Harry), the plot was thin and everyone goes from angry to weepy.  Or, in Peter's case, weepy to more weepy.  And why oh why, when Harry wakes up from his amnesia (amnesia?!  Are you basing Spiderman on a fucking episode of I Love Lucy or something?!)  does he seem to be sedated and gay?  "Hey, MJ.  I love you.  I love you too, Peter.  And now I will got smile a lot and paint.  Oh, MJ, if you need someone to talk to, I'm a good listener.  Just come over and we'll make some 'comfort food'!"  I imagine that they would have ended the night by pigging out on ice cream together and rating how hot male celebrities are.  And speaking of random gay characters, what the hell is up with the butler?  Since when is Harry Osborne supposed to be the next Batman?  "Oh, and this is our butler, Mini-moose.  He's been with us all along."  He's super creepy, probably is just a homeless guy who wandered in and Harry simply thinks he forgot about him with the amnesia.  Seriously, if this guy went to work for Bruce Wayne he would just sit around and ask for more Robins.  "Master Bruce, don't you think you could use a little help?  Some youthful strength?  Strong, supple legs, slick and glistening arms...  Mm.... Robins...."  He would be fired.  How many times can you retcon your own continuity?!  It's not like you're taking this huge universe and trying to work in new ideas.  You made it up yourself 2 movies ago, Sam!  2 god damned movies!  Sam Raimi, I think you owe a lot of people an apology for tricking them into seeing this movie.  For shame, for shame.

This movie sucks.


Unless......




Perhaps it's a genius marketing ploy from Marvel.  Really.  Marvel knows that this movie would sell no matter what.  That's not a problem.  So make it the worst Marvel movie yet.  Really.  Maybe you should get the X-Men trilogy when they box it up.  Maybe you'll give the Avengers straight to DVD releases a shot.  Who deosn't love Black Panther?  And they will still reap a huge profit from Spiderman 3!  Really! 



Instead of seeing Spiderman 3, read the Notes on the First Draft of Spider-Man 3 or, hell, let's go for something completely different:

Photo filler!

Was was going to review Spiderman 3.  I saw it on Sunday.  I'm still not fully recovered so I'll just put up some arty filler.  Here are two shots from the storm we had on the first.  Comment in and let me know what you think.  These are my first lightening pictures ever, so keep that in mind.  Also, I have to give some credit to Jeff, who helped me with some artistic choices for the first picture. 

And of course, you can see some more stuff at my DeviantArt account which is, as always, linked to on my sidebar.  Comments?  Criticism?

The other thing I want to put out there is about audiobooks.  I'm back to scanning at work so I am going through my audio files like mad.  I'm about to start the last book of the His Dark Materials trilogy.  If anyone has audiobooks or podcasts they can recommend, I'm "all ears".  Really though, just toss anything out there.  You don't even have to lend it to me.  I work at a library.  If you know it exists and it's good, let me know.

And with those two prompts I expect the comments to come flying in.

Little update

Life is just chugging along. A big thing is that I am now done with the museum project. For anyone who has heard me complain about it, you know it's a bit of a mixed blessing. It's back to scanning now, though there will be one last trip to drop off the hard drives. In the personal realm, Al and I just got an officiant for the wedding. That is good. All that's left is a florist and we're set. Creatively, I have some stuff to post. I want to start reviewing books I read. I'll be posting about The Golden Compass shortly.  I'll give you a hint, though: it was good.  I have some photos to toss up as well.  I went out and took my first lighting shots with what I think are good results.  I am also working on 2 more movie scripts.  Technically, I'm working on 3, but my college final has been on the back burner for a while.  All of that is keeping me pretty busy, but what the hell.  I think I'll also work on my graphic novel and maybe a kids book or two with Sylvia. On Joost:  I was a bit surprised that i barely managed to give away 3 invites when they are going like hotcakes elsewhere. In case anyone out there still wants one, my invite count went up to 998.  So hurry before they're all gone.Let's see, since this is a post of randomness then I'll just toss out web sites.

• Did you like the PG version of 300.  Then you might like this commercially augmented trailer for Spiderman 3.
• The pill that stops menstruation (while you're on it) has been causing a lot of issues in feminist circles.  I think that's kind of dumb.  I know that there's a lot of pride in the cycle, but I think stating your gender identity on it is really a knee jerk reaction.  The whole fertility as identity is cool with me.  Goddess and all that.  But they never worshiped the actual menstruation in those cultures.  It's the ability to create life.  Menstruation was just a visible show of that ability.  This pill doesn't change a woman's identity anymore than the monthly pill does.  It's just a method of regulation.  It should be looked at as more freeing, if anything.  Here's a big secret: if you're on the pill now then you're not having a period.  What?!  Yeah, you're not actually releasing any eggs.  That's all just for show.  So the only difference between the pill now and this new one is that your body is a little more honest about what's going on.  But the truth of the matter is, I just wanted to link to that cartoon image.
• That's just awesome.
• It looks like the daylight-savings time change is causing a lot of unanticipated problems.
•  Batman to Robin: "When you get a little older, you'll see how easy it is to become lured by the female of the species."

Since there's really no way to top that, I suppose I'll end here.