Why PETA should start eating meat... Mine.

            This rant started on Beliefnet.  For those of you who don’t know, Beliefnet is an online source of moderately ignorant, and very touchy-feely, well… crap.  Check this link for an example.  That article proves that no matter how dumb you think people are, they probably understand even less than you give them credit for.  Then I stumbled onto this.  Thank god, for I had simply forgotten all about PETA.  PETA, for those of you lucky enough not to know, is a group that’s dedicated to helping fuzzy-wuzzies while fighting against animal cruelty, any sort of pleasure in life or the smallest semblance of logic.  In short: PETA is for fuck-ups.

            It’s a scientific fact.  I was actually going to rant against Beliefnet but upon reading recent PETA publications I could not stay silent!  Let’s go to their page for a moment, shall we?  Under their campaigns is this:

They equate cooking fish with killing people.  In one of their older campaigns they equate the holocaust with, well, meat.  These people don’t have a sense of proportion, do they?  And they can’t be for animal rights.  Animals deserve protection from humans who don’t treat them with respect?  Then what about their fantastic ads for spaying and neutering?  That’s surgery to take away reproductive abilities (or, if you’re a PETA putz, rights) of animals.

            But it’s good for them in the big picture.  In the long run there will be less homeless animals on the street being put down.  Fuck that!  PETA, you don’t have the right to pick and choose what your ethical system applies to.  You take a standard and you stick with it.  Otherwise you’re a hypocrite and a liar.  You either think that you can do what you want to animals (though it should be tempered with common sense) or you completely protect them.  What PETA’s doing, that’s the equivalent of saying that you’re a Malthusian for human rights.  Sterilize the poor for the sake of society.  Carrying PETA’s system to humans, that’s what it comes out to.

            PETA=fucknuggets.  Be a vegetarian.  Good for you.  Do it because you don’t like the taste of meat.  Do it because you think it’s cruel to animals and you don’t want to be a part of that market demand.  That’s fantastic.  Be a vegan because you’re truly dedicated.  Fan-fucking-tastic.  But don’t you dare tell me it’s natural and closer to a balance with nature.  If you’re a vegetarian you are taking the top predator in the environment and pulling it out of the equation.  Nature and “animal rights” ethics don’t match.  You can take either side of the issue.  They’re both legitimate.  But saying that PETA is what’s right for animals?  That’s bullshit.  PETA is what’s right for people who’s conscious can’t deal with a real natural order, with the fact that nature has engineered a system of death, decay and sustenance.  Suffering is in there, but it’s not a factor other than a side effect or a survival avoidance tactic.

            Don’t eat animals or wear fur, but by all means, cut off their balls and scoop out their ovaries.  That’s not what’s right or natural?  That’s what makes you hyper-activists sleep better.  I eat meat.  I wear leather.  I don’t do fur, but that’s because I think it’s just excessive.  In fact, I fucking love meat.  The best steak I ever had was raw.  And I don’t hate animals.  Well, dogs.  And children.  But I love cats.  And you know what lets me sleep at night?  Ambien.  I pop pills while PETA lies on an international scale, misleading people and taking their money to disrupt businesses in a system (ecological or economical) that they don’t understand.  Yeah, I eat animals and I sleep well at night.  And I don’t have to con others or myself to do it.  So in salute, here’s my love meat, you self-deluded twits:

 

Where have all the flannels gone?

            Well, I’ve finally done it.  I was pushed and pushed and now I’ve done it.  I’ve made a web comic.  It’s badly drawn.  I could justify it as a Dada expression of talent in the web-pool.  I could say the jagged line structure is to emulate the constant jagged reality the two characters inhabit.  I could say a lot of things and some of them would be convincing.  Truth is, I suck as a graphic artist.  I just don’t have the ability to render images on paper well.  But this will suffice.  And besides, it feels good to get something in my system out on paper (insert masturbation comment here, because there was one).  Honestly, it is a Dada piece under construction.  It just won’t emerge so until there’s more of a context for it. 

Freddy and The Scream

          I’m at DrunkDuck right now, but I’m moving it over to Keenspace as soon as I can.  The link on the left will keep up, so don’t worry about that.  Like you would.

            Don’t have much else to say right now.

Oh, wait a moment.  I’ve got something.  In my last post, how many of you were able to discern who “trial by woman” was if I hadn’t already told you about her in person?  I’m just curious because she complained.  She was afraid that I’d put everything out here on the web for all to see.  Which isn’t what I’m doing.  I’m going to put it into a play/screenplay/prose piece for all to read.  But really, I want responses.  If you could tell who she is from the last post: reply with a yes.  If you couldn’t: reply with a no or some kind.  I’m just wondering if I had given more away when I wrote:

As for the trial by woman, don’t fear.  It’s not my girlfriend.  All is good on that front.  As for the trial, you’ll probably all have access to it.  I’m just trying to figure out the form: screenplay, play or prose?

            Well, I’m signing off for a bit.  I’ve got Kevin Smith on Degrassi to cozy up with.  And Jay’s hitting on all the junior high kids.  Brilliant!

Tunes, Trials, T(women) and Teengers

            Long overdue, I know, but this is just a check in.  And oh my, what an eventful time it’s been.  Where to begin?

            Music.  The ongoing search for good music continues, and bears fruit.  These fruits are called the following: Moloko, The Rapture, Lampshade, Benny Sings, The Go Find, Beat Happening, The Kills and Stephen Malkmus.  The last one is the only one I’ve been able to analyze simply because I don’t have albums for the others.  He’s great.  He’s from Pavement.  Really, write ‘em all down.  Get them.  Hear them.  Feel them and then run from cops.  Oh, and Munk.  The song Kick Out the Chairs.  Instant classic.  And the video is to die for.  Indi-rock models.  Fantabulous.

            The other side of music is this:  I’m forming a band.  Being that I’m an egoist, pretentious and a really good writer I’ve made myself the lead singer.  And I play didgeridoo.  The band, for all of you on the up and coming edge, is called The Big Nosed Kites.  I mentioned it at Hillel and it didn’t go over too well.  But that’s ok.  We have a singer and a bassist.  We need the rest.  And we’ll be based out of Jersey, so if you want to apply simply drop a line.  It’s that easy.  Admission isn’t, but application is.

            What else?  Of course!  The trials.  First there was trial by woman.  Then trial by Fire and Flood.  That’s right.  What sort of school year would it be if there wasn’t a flood and fire to try my patience?  I didn’t want to leave and assumed it was a drill so I stayed in my room.  About 1 or 2 hours later I started getting nervous because of all the people running on my floor.  I messed my hair, pulled off my nice shirt and stumbled out the door.  “Whaaa?”  I asked and was greeted by a cop and about 7 firemen.  “There’s a fire.  What are you doing in here?”  I told them the alarm didn’t go off in my room and that I was heavily under sedation.  Yes, I split infinitives at them and they didn’t even flinch.  The system doesn’t go off in your room.  I told them it did when there wasn’t a real fire.  They glared.  I put on shoes and left. 

            As for the trial by woman, don’t fear.  It’s not my girlfriend.  All is good on that front.  As for the trial, you’ll probably all have access to it.  I’m just trying to figure out the form: screenplay, play or prose? 

            My room, just to let everyone know, has kept its cycle of nature.  Yes, it is currently building itself up with laundry and trash and that foot smell that boy-rooms get.  Soon it will emerge from this chrysalis as a shining, pristine dorm; complete with floor!  But as of now I almost die trying to open the fridge.  And the contents fight back.  It’s not a good situation.

            Finally, media.  Tomorrow I plan to watch Napoleon Dynamite, which I’ve only heard one person rave about, many despise and a few think it was alright.  What I do have now is the fourth season of Degrassi: The Next Generation.  And I am a TNG fan.  I can’t wait till episodes 20/21, when Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes and Alanis Morrisette all guest.  I have no doubt it shall prove to be fantastique!  And that’s all for tonight.  So, onward with life, trials, tribulations and teenage melodrama!

            Oh, and I just had to do this: