Paging Harry Buttle.

There was a minor incident last night. I get a call while at the library from Al. "Get home right now!" What is it? "We got an eviction notice!" Click. So I run home. It appears that the letter reminding us to renew our lease had some strange wording and stipulations about posting date verse receiving date and month lengths verse a standard 25 days from indistinct start points. Calendar verse fiscal. All sorts of weird things that have apparently been misread. The long and short of it was the thought we had through august to respond and it turns out that perhaps we only had through the 24th... Freaking out ensues. I am so distressed that I can only read clunky science fiction in an attempt to focus my mind on other things and negate all emotion. the game plan becomes this: Show up at the offices the next morning at opening and follow the procedure, moving to the next step if the current step is not successful.

1. Ask to renew the lease.
2. Explain that we're busy planning a wedding and just barely missed the date.
3. Tell the person that here, she can deal with this crying bride. Have fun telling her she'll be homeless before the wedding. And prepare to go to a special hell.
4. If all else fails, sign up to be the next renters in our own place.

I walk in and ask, "Is it too late to renew our lease?" The response: "No. You've got until the end of your lease (another month). Oh, did you get a letter?" It turns out that we're supposed to get the first letter and then after the 24th/25th reminders that our lease is in the office ready to be signed up until the end of our current lease. It was a mistake by temps at the main office. There is no eviction. She goes on to say that previously some temps had actually sent the eviction notice out to everyone, including people who had already renewed their leases. This time around she got 3 phone calls about eviction notices yesterday but had hoped that they were the only ones. When we came in she knew that there was going to be a whole line of people waiting for her through the rest of the day. We signed the leases, relieved beyond measure, and headed out. On the way to the door she wished us a good weekend and I wished her good luck. She said that if we see the phone fly out the window, not to worry. And with that, I present you the story of why we will not be homeless this year.

Just when I had written off the show...

The pilot was pretty bad (just look at my review). However, I may have to tune in for just one episode if Wil Wheaton (Wesly Crusher) lands the part.

Who is John Galt?

I was drawn to this from Warren Ellis. Now, this isn't about the fact that John Galt Inc. (the company doing demolition work for the city at 130 Liberty St.) is actually a rolling front currently being used by a company that was fired from doing work at... 130 Liberty St. No, this is to point out that the company is called John Galt. That implicitly requires the question to be raised: Who is John Galt? There's also a curious Ayn Rand connection with the new game Bioshock. the character that the player controls is named Andrew Ryan (nearly an anagram of Ayn Rand) in a city inspired by the works of Ayn Rand. Do you know what this means? 9/11 was nothing but a giant publicity stunt and ARG for Bioshock. I'm not calling 2K Games terrorists. I'm just saying that someone has just out done JJ Abrams at his own game. I think it's genius. It did just what an ARG is supposed to do. It drew in a large audience, crossed many forms of media and and kept people interested, invested and constantly on their toes. Now, if 2K Games could just fix the economy, undo Bush's second term, put the constitution back and repair the USA's standing in the international community (which includes the whole Iraq debacle) then I think we'll be fine. Good job guys. Now please clean up.

I see a logic gap...

"Thankfully, the TSA agent spotted his package of pudding and confiscated it, missing the knife completely."

Why would you not just use the knife you're allowed to have to demand the pudding back? I'll cut 'cha!

What the fuck do we know?

Well, I was just catching up on Wii Vote when suddenly and without warning I found something online that really triggered my anger. The question on the Wii was what makes you angrier: Bragging or Lying. I picked lying. I hate lying. I think that (from an existential take) the truth is the most important thing we have when figuring out the world. Sure, sometimes self deception can help people cope but when trying to learn how things really are outside of your own head the truth is all we have. And that's why I hate the movie What the Bleep Do We Know. It presents itself as a documentary about the connections between quantum physics and philosophy. In fact it is not a documentary, not about quantum physics and not even about philosophy. It is a propaganda film by and for a cult about Atlantis.What really gets me is that people who don't really know about the topics it claims to be about keep touting it as a valid film. This is wrong on 2 levels.

1. These people (the ones who tell others to see it and how good it is) end up resenting themselves as someone who is at least moderately familiar with the ideas of physics and philosophy. So in fact this movie has a bit of a viral (real viral, not internet viral) spread pattern. And it makes people liars.
2. By "educating" people with it's mind numbingly awful content it actually holds people back from learning anything about these topics. I will warn people taking it out of the library (which so far have been thankfully few) that they are in for a cult promo video. Depending on the patron I might even joke that they should make sure to have plenty of Kool-Aid and a pair of Keds before popping this in. If they want I can even recommend books about quantum physics for laymen and philosophical survey texts. But to let things like this pass as real is unconscionable.

What sparked this tirade against a 3 year old movie is this article from the Huffington Post. Now, I'm not ranting against New Age ideas. As long as you realize, when embracing them, that you're making things up on your own just like every other religion then it's fine. What I am infuriated about is that concepts like this continue to pass as science and the general public doesn't call these people on their shit. I could tie it in to the case against Paul Myers. Currently he is being sued for writing a bad review of a book. Very mature. While this isn't a great comparison, there are similarities. The book is actually based on a theory that is currently being investigated, whereas What the Bleep simply mentions some science buzz words and then gives you cartoons. What is similar is that both the book and What the Bleep both tell you that they are going to prove a point and then use "evidence" which has nothing to do with their topics. In the book the author uses pictures of balloon animals where What the Bleep just makes shit up, falsifies actual scientists and dazzles the viewer with cartoons. And where Ethan Todras-Whitehill isn't furious at the fact that it tries to pass itself off as anything other than propaganda I am. When the Frey was exposed as falsifying his non-fiction book A Million Little Pieces he was nearly dropped by his publisher and there were articles left and right, all furious at what he had done. So why doesn't science get the same treatment as a memoir? Is it because the general population simply isn't educated enough about it to know when they are being lied to? The same reason that creationists argue that evolution and gravity are only theories? As much as I'd like to say no I think that may be the case. People out there may just be dumb enough and complacent in herd mentality that they'd rather just pass over instances of being lied to and, I feel this word is warranted, betrayed by books and films. Rather than get mad and smart they can be happy and dumb. Of course from the outside this sounds great. Less effort and more satisfaction. One issue with that is if everyone was dumb then we'd all be consumers and nothing would get developed/produced/refined/improved/made and we'd all die. The other is that once you're smart enough to realize the saying "Ignorance is bliss" really is true, you're a bit too far past being ignorant enough to live by it.God/Goddess/Ramtha help us.

Happy birthday, piggy

So I'm starting to get some presents early which is cool. I like the trickle. I've never been big on birthday bashes. For a while in college I just would mention it a few hours before midnight so I'd get a free drink or two and be done with it. Well, one of my early birthday presents this year is trading being kosher with Allison. So while I can't make it out for a bacon swiss burger for lunch (oh well) I will be heading out with her and two friends to Big Ed's for some fabulous ribs. Piggies beware!

God bless the Air Force

This is just ridiculous. "Not part of the mission"? They might at least want to consider making a file called "Things to possibly investigate that will later win the Nobel Prize". With intellectual friends like these...

Part 1 of a new series.

Some people out there drive like assholes.  A good deal of people.  Who knows, you may be one of them.  Witness the following bad parking jobs: Yeah, you guys park like assholes.  If you ever come back and find a long scrape along the side of your car because some foolish person thought that they could park in an "empty" parking space, well, you won't get my sympathy.  You park like an asshole. Here's the shot that triggered this rage.  Imagine (if you weren't around for it) a storm so nasty that it flooded many major roads though the downpour only lasted an hour to an hour and a half.  Would that validate the following? Just in case you can't tell, click and see the larger version.  both the car in the center as well as the black SUV are driving in the center of the road, between lanes.  Yes, that is a photo of an SUV running lanes.  It happened through a gridlocked intersection and down the road for a bit.  To the dumbass kid riding shotgun and the old woman driving: Get off the fucking road.  you should have your license taken away.  Maybe waved in front of your face while you cry and then taken away.  There's no excuse for that.  You didn't run a light because it was close.  You didn't cut someone off because they were in your blind spot.  You two just chose not to wait in traffic in a heavy rain storm because you were impatient and drove down the middle of a two lane street.  For everyone else's sake I hope that the next accident you get into (It's a matter of when, not if.  Let's be honest.) involves you and a tree and not you and someone else.  Dicks. By the way, this is a new thing.  As I see more bad parkers and drivers I'll post pictures.  It's fun to share.  And if you people out there have any shots then feel free to send them to me along with a story.  I'll host 'em and post 'em.  I mean, hell, if we live in on Orwellian society where we're supposed to report suspicious activity and everyone has a (near) mandatory digicam in their phone, let's make it work for the people.

Stardust Review

I'll save you all a bit of suspense and just get this out of the way: I really liked the movie. That done, let's get on with the review.The direction is nice. It's not jaw dropping or astounding but it is very good. There's a real feel for small town in those scenes but it's not pervasive. The sky pirates feel like storms, the markets feel like crowded commercial centers. The scenes all feel like they should. This may seem like an odd thing to state but it's a subtle point that should be made. It takes a careful hand to make each scene grow into itself without overpowering it with one overarching visual style. In fact, perhaps the above comment doesn't convey as much respect as I intended.The real strong shine (no pun intended) is the standout design. There are amazing little details tucked into this film that even I didn't pick up until the second time I saw it. The rigging and balloon supports on the air ship, for instance, are meant to resemble power lines and even have capacitor devices incorporated into them. And of course if a Gaiman script is to be great the visuals are going to play a huge part. Hell, this was written as an illustrated novel and then worked into a graphic novel. Even his straight prose gets visual treatment. He writes with images incorporated. Everyone who worked on the design, effects and, to be frank, illustrating of this movie deserves recognition on this project.The acting had some highs and lows. I liked Claire Danes, despite Allison's allegations that she belongs to the Head Bobbing School of Acting. It's a bit true but it's not 'bad'. She's gorgeous in this movie. She's damn near too pretty, but of course she's a fallen star so that works here. I think that Yvaine (Stardust) and Galadriel (Lord of the Rings) should get together and play out the following scene:

Yvaine: I am far to pretty for the real world.Galadriel: As am I. Let us inhabit the fantasy realm and rule it with beauty.Yvaine: Let's. Also, isn't it time for a magical pillow-fight in our jammies?Galadriel: Is it that time already?

Tristan (Charlie Cox) is bumbling and charming. He has a tendency to pull verbal double-takes but it's forgivable for the character. Michelle Pfeiffer plays the character Lamia well enough but needs a little work on her accent. It's fine when she uses one but whenever the witch gets too emotional (especially at the end) she turns American. And then there's DeNiro. Dear lord, why was he cast? I know that it seems funny to cast DeNiro as a gay pirate but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. As rude as this may seem, I felt that the name Shakespeare was more than applicable. When he was delivering lines, especially when he let out the gay, he sounded like a high school student doing a Shakespeare play. I did not believe for a moment that he completely understood the words he was saying, but rather had memorized them as a speech. He even mispronounced a few words and he wasn't even trying for an accent. He came off as awkward and gimmicky. The movie is worth putting up with his performance, and there's even a nice touch with him at the end, but he is by no means good. Not this time around. I think he suffers from Walken Syndrome, where an actor is hired but refuses to act. Instead they simply read the lines as themselves.I've heard people say that the tone of this movie is similar to The Princess Bride. While I can understand why, I don't think that's quite right. The Princess Bride has a near post-modern awareness. The narrator knows it's a book and the characters nearly seem to as well. While this has a similar vein of dark humor it's not that self aware. Instead, this is more of a classical darkness. People are eaten by animals, witches are killed and turned upon by their prisoners. People lose body parts. It's a funny look at the traditional fairy tale, like Grimm's. The humor is more earnest and slightly less tongue in cheek. It's funny, am will say. But it's not set up and knock down jokes. They jokes are rooted in the absurdity of the characters themselves. Though not slapstick, it's more physical and less wordplay.Rating: +4.5

In other news.

Just saw Eurydice. It's great, but only playing through August 26th so hurry up and see it!

In other news, I'd like to thank god for preparing to slap psychotic anti-choice "Ameerikins" in the face.  Bless you, ma'am.

No, not this god.  The most powerful computers we have now rivals the brain of... was it a goldfish or a mouse a monkey.  Taking into account how the brain works versus how a computer works this is still pretty lame.  Of course you can speculate about shit like this but without any evidence (and by not calling it science fiction) you end up with a scientific method on par with that of the church during the inquisition.  Bravo.

Look ma, I'm chattel!

This weekend I...

• randomly ran into a good friend.
• hung out with someone cool I don't get to hang out with a lot.
• was shocked with bigotry.
• saw a good sword swallower
• rode in the trunk of an SUV for a pretty good distance.
• was stuck on the side of the road in PA, not close to anything in particular.
• tried to stay calm.
• was incredibly thirsty.
• was annoyed.
• was hungry.
• made some great jokes about bagels.
• saw swords that were not even feasible.
• saw Stardust.
• found the perfect shoes for my wedding.
• analyzed and reevaluated my political views and am satisfied with the results.
• did not break a huge HD TV set.

The Host

The HostFor those out there who need their movies defined as "this meets that" I would say the host is Godzilla meets Little Miss Sunshine. Wait, don't go. It actually works.The plot is a chemical dump (based on a true story) leads to the creation of a monster that lives in a river (not true). The monster eats people, but also collects others so it can eat them later without having to hunt again. One of the people it steals away is a small girl. Her family is a bit messed up; slacker dad, drunk uncle, aunt who is an archer with issues and one crazy loving grandpa. They decide to go after the monster to avenge her.Like Little Miss Sunshine and other character driven movies, the plot is explained early on and the fun is really watching how these people react. It is certainly entertaining in this case. And what's great is that the people don't always rise to the occasion. Tfhe son still screws up a lot. The grandfather still rambles. These people still doubt themselves.The movie itself is a bit frenetic. There are parts that are directed like a horror movie, parts that are flat out slapstick and parts that are deeply disturbing political commentary. It's from South Korea so the drunk son (who can't get a job after college) is a bit bitter about being a failure after protesting for democracy thought his youth. Also, as many South Korean movies tend to do, there's a strong focus on high contrast imagery and playing with black shadows. Shot by shot this movie is beautiful. The shadows aren't used to hide the monster, but to hide people from people. On the whole this feels like a character movie with horror laid over it like screen. Horror is never the foundation for any of the development.As special effects go the monster is gorgeously done while some of the other effects leave a bit to be desired (like some of the rendered fire). I do think that the movie a) earns enough trust and b) is funny enough on its own that when you get to some of the weaker special effects shots they can be forgiven or simply laughed at without ruining the film as a whole.I liked it. At the end I was left a little "well, that was... different" but I enjoyed the work as a whole. It was ambitious and for the most part achieved what it set out to do. The monster is cool, there are a few scare moments that got my friend and definitely some scenes with the army that disgusted me. The main thing is the characters develop like real people in a ridiculous world which leads to all sorts of problems for them. While they don't all become well adjusted it's nice to see them adjust to each other as they are forced together in the hunt.Rating: +3.5

TV 2.0

A week or two back the tubes were all the rage about some shows (around 6 or 7) being leaked before the actual premier date. A short time after that it came to light that at least one of the leaks was an inside job. Since I do like to keep ahead of the times I figured what the hell. I mean, isn't it even more fitting to watch the first episode of the Sarah Conner Chronicles before it's supposed to be available? This is what I saw: Bionic Woman (NBC) - It's a Bionic Woman reboot. Not great but not awful either. The tone in this is dark, with a bit of conspiracy showing through but not taking stage. The main character is in a car crash. She wakes up and freaks out that her body is half machine. They sedate her. She wakes up again and sighs, all just a dream. It wasn't. There's a strange mix of writing in here. We're set up with (by the end) two unaffiliated villains to fight. One represents her own inner demons (the previous bionic experiment gone wrong) and the other a shadowy conspiracy that rivals the shadows of the people who built her. There's also a deaf younger sister who is in her care. The sister seems a bit too real in a show that's a bit too glossy. Considering the man who built her is/was her boyfriend the sister seems like a really disconnected piece of her life. This show might pick up. I didn't feel like I wasted my time watching it but I wasn't sold on giving it a weekly part of my schedule. I think I was left a little wanting by the fact that it had the dark set tone of Birds of Prey without any of the tacit acceptance of camp. In the end It as fine but left me pining for the far superior Now and Again. +1.5

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Reaper (CW) - A kid becomes a bounty hunter for the devil after his parents sell his soul in a deal. Very funny. The tone on this one plays up the "off" from the get go and does it surprisingly well. The parents are a little too distressed and it works. I didn't think it would hold up for the whole episode, but it did and lord help me, it works very well. The mandated best friend put me off for just a moment by trying to be Jack Black but then I found myself buying him as Jack Black. He's a bastard and even seems a little bit more malicious than Satan himself but he's really funny. Between the Monster Of The Week, the tongue in cheek universe and the villain/not a villain Satan I felt myself drift back to the days of Deadly Games. This felt the same but plays much smoother. I grudgingly gave myself over to the show by the end and will now add it to my list. +3.5

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Pushing Daisies (ABC) - A man has the power to bring things back to life with a touch, and then undo it with a second touch. Wow. The setting does (admittedly) look like it was slapped with Amélie and between the bittersweet take on death and the kindly narrator it could have been produced by Tim Burton it has too much romance and too much affection for its characters to have been directed by him. This is by far my pick. The characters are great, the pacing and dialogue superb, the concept fun and the production amazing. I actually have a hard time believing this was picked up, but that could be why it looks like only 6 episodes have been ordered. This was created and written by Bryan Fuller, the creator and writer of Dead Like Me. This was originally going to be a spin-off but then developed into it's own world. Fuller has done some great television before but also has a habit of writing for shows that get the axe. He has a pattern of dreamlike worlds that are almost expressionist in their reflections of the main characters. His other credits are Wonderfalls, Heroes, and some Star Trek Voyager and Deep Space Nine here and there. The actors are perfect here as well. Lee Pace as Ned is a little reminiscent of Edward Norton, but with better looks and none of the creepiness. Chi McBride, as a private investigator, is great as per usual as and the female lead played by Anna Friel doesn't seem like a damsel in distress. The only thing she's rescued from is death and after that she takes charge. Toss in Swoozie Kurtz, Kristin Chenoweth and (one of my personal favourites) Ellen Greene and the cast is probably on the edge of perfection. I'm claiming this one now. I am adopting it as my personal show this coming season. I love it. +5

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Chuck (NBC) - A database of information is downloaded into a tech guy's head. He is then drafted into spy service. I don't love it. The elements could be there for a good show, but these same elements have been in about 20 shows already. Jake 2.0? A bit, but that's not the fair comparison that a lot of boards have pegged it with. While Jake was trying to be a bit cool and only bumbling in that "finding your self" sort of way Chuck strives to keep that bumbling feel as the show's base. Chuck is a super nerd who no one really likes who is suddenly needed to be a spy. It's a bit of an IT wet dream. And that's a bit of the problem. The show is pretty much basic wish fulfillment with no down side. the consequences of with fulfillment are what make good concepts into well executed concepts. Even in this batch of shows: Bionic Woman - super strength but it puts your family in danger and destroys your life. Reaper - With a new job comes the character development to get off your ass! Sarah Conner Chronicles - Your son is the most important person in the world, but now robots want your brains. Here we have a worthless guy who is suddenly valuable. the downside? His life is now full of excitement. Damn. That downgrades the show from good to cute. What drops it a bit lower is that the main guy seems like just the sort who would write this pilot. that means I don't give him any sympathy. Also, it's not that funny. It'd be a step up for a Sci-Fi channel movie of the week but that's not nearly good enough to make me want to seek out this show on TV. It's OK but not close to good. -1

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Sarah Conner Chronicles (FOX) - After T2 we follow Sarah Conner and John Conner in the hopes they can avoid making T3. While the production wasn't bad the show itself was. It starts out as a normal sci-fi action show with robots. What's not to love? The problems soon start to show up that pretty much every loose end in the first two movies, as well as all the inconsistencies, are all brought into the show. that's not to say things were cleared up. It means that every problem the movies had is in here without solutions or explanation or the benefit of shiny special effects to distract us from them. If only organic matter can pass through time then how do the terminators move? If inorganic matter can pass through if it's encased in skin then why not shove the weapons in a leather bag or even inside a living cow? It might be inconvenient but it could save... all of mankind. The first movie mas made to show that time is cyclical. The second one shows that time is able to be changed. This one is stuck with adapting both into one view of time. And it doesn't even bother bringing it up. Why are the humans and machines sending back robotic and therefore outdated machines in order to assure their place as rulers of the earth? The fact that the movies all come out decades apart is sure to work some holes into the Terminator universe. The long and short of it is this tries to just jump into a world that needs a bit of continuity fix. The plot is a bit too weak to support the weight of T1 and T2. The actors are OK, but nothing special. It doesn't feel like they are their characters, but simply fair casting. A surprisingly unimpressive attempt for the next season. -1.5

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Cavemen (ABC) - A show about a few cavemen trying to live in the modern world. Both humans and the cavemen seem to be on the losing side of this social experiment. I'm going to be honest here. I didn't watch the whole thing. I couldn't. Before putting this in I read a lot about how it actually comes across as racist rather than a satire of racism. I didn't see a whole lot of that in the scenes I sat through, but I could see enough to figure out why people said that. The main reason I didn't truck through the whole thing is that it's flat out not funny. Though not as awkward as sitting in your friend's living room while his parents have a huge argument in the kitchen it's not far off. I felt like I was watching some sort of failure in every scene. Whether it was a failure between the on screen characters or a failure between them and the audience varied from scene to scene but not a single one worked for me. I kept expecting to have one of the cavemen look at the camera and wait for me to laugh. I didn't. Months ago I came up with what I figured would be a better concept than a full show. After seeing it I am doubly sure of it. Geico should produce a set of 5 1-minute "episodes" every week for a station. They would air during the commercial breaks all through the week in prime time hours. Let's go with ABC. This would act as both an ad for ABC as well as Geico. They wouldn't be the regular commercials, but rather short shorts with a running plot simply about the Cavemen. Then, if those sucked as badly as the show does people would only have to put up with them for a minute at a time. -2

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I'm interested in Californication but that's set up on Netflix so there's not the same push to watch it now and stay ahead of the curve. I'll probably catch it sometime after work this week.

... and we're done.

I've just finished The Cosmic Landscape.  I've had it for the entire summer so far, so there was a bit of pressure to get through it.  It was also from another library, no less.  It's a good book, all aboutstring theory and the state of physics both theoritical and particle.  The problem is that it never delves into the thesis it sets out with.  It's supposed to be about string theory and the lack of need for "intelligent design".  It gets into string theory fine but doesn't really talk about the implications except extended out to more physics.  It's interesting and deep but not what I was looking for. Still, it feels good to have that under my belt.  And I feel accomplished enough to stick to some fiction for a bit. Now I'm off to outline some of my comic. If I don't have time to work on a novel, surely I can work on something built of 30 page issues.  Or can I?...

Let's be honest about this.

This is everywhere and I need to say something about this.  It's amazing.  It's incredible that this could happen and he could walk away.  But they're not clapping because you're OK.  They're clapping because that was fucking awesome.  Now do it again!

Second place?  Second place?!  That's messed up.  Did anyone else drop their flailing body from 40 feet and walk away?  No?  Then where did your cool points come from?  Feel the shame, first place winner.

I think that the more damage you do to your body the more credit you should get.  Hell, if a guy flies off the ramp, does some kind of 784 with a half-nelson and finishes it off by blowing himself up he better fucking sweep the X-Games.

Shot through the heart!

So my friend and I were talking about assassinations today... Ok, I think I need to put this in context before the gestapo come knocking down my door. Let me start by saying that my political belief system is a bit odd. The only term I've come up with is anapolitical. Existentially apolitical technically covers it but it's so specific a system of political theory that I feel it could use it's own term. The short version is that I don't believe any political system is sustainable. This is different than anarchy because they think that living in a world where there is no centralized government is ideal. I think that anarchists are so eager to start a revolution that they never got around to figuring out what to fight for or against. Me? I think that any form of government is a losing battle but there's no alternative. Imagine living in a city that is completely below sea level and there's no other land in the world. The dams around the city start to crumble. Do you hand people more sandbags to help or run away? The sandbag is a futile effort but where the hell can you run to? That's how I see it. All that was meant to let you know that I look at politics more as a set of human efforts and results rather than a working ideal to aspire to. It's more like physics to me than anything else. So the following is hypothetical. Everything between the lines are ideas and none are meant to be 'plans' or suggestions. I'm not advocating any of the following plans. They are merely hypothesis followed though with a thought experiment. It's a common thing in science to do this. I don't know about political theory, but my background is science. That's how my brain works. The film Death of a President does the same thing. It analyzes a concept and does not incite action towards the concept. So to the SS men outside my door, lighten up. As much as I'm not a democrat (I tried to register Discordian but they wouldn't take it) I do like the constitution. I've also been studying "the founding fathers" and how they actually weren't all about religion. In context they were downright, dare I say, revolutionary. They'd probably have the current administration lined up to ship off. So the question was "What sort of situation for an assassination would help the democrats the most?" Here's what my friend and I came up with:

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1. The most obvious is to hypothetically shoot Bush now. Though it sounds quite shocking unless you're a hard line Republican. Then you might be used to talk like that. Surely you've heard people joke that if you shot Bush, Cheney would probably have a heart attack. Two birds with one stone. But I digress. It may look good for the democrats at first, but not for long. About 2 hours into the coverage Bush would pretty much be an unofficial saint. His policy would become untouchable canon and no matter who did the shooting it would be announced as a terrorist attack. Right wing agenda fills the house and senate and freedom is though. So that's no good.
2. Hypothetically shoot him after he's out of office. Well, it would make one person feel good but wouldn't accomplish much. How can he have his Paris Hilton prison breakdown if he's dead?
3. Democrat gets elected and goes after Bush for any of his many crimes. Hypothetically, the new president gets shot. This would create a Rabin type backlash against the war and push support for whatever the democratic platform was on the way out. Bush would get put in jail, the platform would fly through and the future would look bright and happy, just like in the second Bill and Ted movie. *WINNER*

Of course it'd never work out that way in reality. People are already in a "give up rights and be a xenophobe" mentality. Odds are it's peace all the way. Anything even remotely hostile like that would drive people back to the right. Especially when there's no chance of Bush coming back. Not to sound like the horror twist at the end of a ghost story, but there's always Giuliani.

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Thought experiment over. Here's one real comment at the end to chew on. It's not that I don't like Hillary. I think she'd be OK in other situations. But to split a party that is now notorious for having to uniting thesis other than "Well, we're not Bush!" is stupid beyond all conception. I thought she was smart so I assumed she wouldn't run. It's be nice if someone actually put the country before their political career. Nader, I'm looking at you too! Just because you can run (and no one is saying you can't) does not mean it would be best to do so now. When you were younger, did you ever wait for your parents to get home and then bug them to go out somewhere to eat? Then they said yes and you kept pushing for more, like to get a toy or a new book or something? Did you ever keep pushing until they snapped at you and then you get nothing? I think that's how America is holding up right now.