The management would like to thank you for your patience as we try to fix this technical difficulty.

     I meant to update a while ago.  What happened was I had a (continued) falling out with someone.  I was going to do the LJ standard and bitch about it.  About her.  I mean, what else is there to do when you really really want to complain about someone?  You bitch.  Publicly.  But I figured that that would be too cliche, too plebian.  So I waited.  I waited until I had at least 2 real topics to talk about.  And I got them.  The unreleased Fiona Apple album and the government in respect to the brain-dead case and the Alaskan drilling.  I figured that those would balance out the groundling status of my complaining.       Here's the rub:  the argument/bitch thing settled.  It's now relegated to minor status.  In fact, this is now an entry explaining how I won't complain, rather than complain for the entry.      Here's the deal: this ex-friend (good lord, that sounds so high school.  Of course, this entire situation was because of immaturity, so I think it works) wanted to talk to me.  She wanted to apologize for what she's done.  I didn't accept and now have cut any and all ties.  It's cathartic and cleansing.  My beef was that after a completely inappropriate freak-out she refused to acknowledge that anything had happened.  In this said incident things were brought up, by her, which shocked and surprised me.  Then she refused to ever mention them again.  So the water's been clouded.  And instead of trying to clear it all out she went on like nothing happened.  In fact, she led me on for a good long while (unit=months) while constantly putting off all attempts to talk.      I know, this is starting to sound like a bitch-fest.  It's not.  I'm just aggravated over the thing.  No longer angry.  Just 100% pure, natural disappointment.      The apology, and why it's not worth a damn.            What I wanted an apology for:                1. Being used                2. Being lied to                3. Being avoided                4. Being relegated to a distant rung on the personal hierarchy while being told how important I am                5. The fact that the avoidance part was constructed in order to shift the blame to me later on           What I got as an apology:                1. I'm sorry.  It was my fault.      Sounds nice and all, but was blatantly hollow.  I'm pretty sure that she's still not sure what I thought she did wrong.  But she apologized so things should be better.  Not buying it.  There's only so far I can walk off the edge of a cliff before I fall.  Ah - melodramatic writing.  I apologize to you, the readers, for that.  But this is my journal and every now and then I'm just going to use it to unload.  This is one of those times.       So, conclusion:  Well, if you asked me a week and a half ago I would have ranted.  Now I don't care.  I'm bothered by the whole thing, but I'm really resigned over the matter at this point.  It's like this weird Zen calm.  It is not an empty void, but a void that is something unto itself.  And thank sweet baby jesus that it's over.  Thank fucking Christ.