First update of the new (gentile) year. With the new year, though not because of it, come changes. I’ve got a new wardrobe, for those of who out there who didn’t get to see me while I was at home. I’ve also got a whole new schedule. I’m not terrible excited about the classes. Jew class with Brosky is ok. Playwriting is – well, I have to deal with a lot of theatre people so it’s taxing to say the least. Satire feels easy. Very, very easy. Buddhism and Sci-Fi: East and West… Ok, why is it that when I try to take a non-western course the teacher seems like a complete flake? Buddhism seems like a basic survey class that I could recreate with a book or two. Sci-Fi, well, she’s just not that smart. She seems really into the class and all but the information is high-school level. And we all know how long ago high school stopped being an adequate source of knowledge.
Funny story time.
Setting: Satire. Time, 10 minutes before class. It’s the first Monday of the semester so it’s the first meeting of the class. Most of the people are seated already, waiting for the teacher. Then, from the hall, we all hear a very loud girl. Apparently some guy is an idiot. He’s such an idiot that she needs to say this (not exaggerating) 6 times. Then she sticks her head in and (loudly, still) asks if this is Satire. Someone tells her it is. “Fabulous,” she booms and disappears again. But we can hear her. I fear I’ll hear her till the day I die. What? (Insert white boy’s name here) got a BMW? Well, this blonde lets everyone in the class know that he too is an idiot. And she hopes he crashes it. Because he’s an idiot. He should crash it like all of his other $100,000 dollar cars (other?!). The classroom is silent aside from a few snickers: everyone invested in her conversation now. I turn to the guy next to me, someone I know from a previous class, and ask “All of them?”. The class bursts out and stops just as she comes in, sits and starts talking (loudly still) to the girl next to her, much to that girl’s chagrin.
The teacher comes in, class starts and all seems well. Then he asks if anyone has seen something that they weren’t sure if it was a joke or not. His example? A print out of the homepage at W Ketchup (the “W” stands for Washington. Bullshit). At the time their slogan was: You don’t support Democrats. Why should your ketchup? Of course the boisterous blonde pipes up. “Oh my god. Is this class, like, liberal? And Bush bashing? Because if it is… I don’t think I can take that.” The teacher responds that it is a satire class and satire takes aim at whomever is in government, be it on a federal, state or local scale. She’s not happy. She lets everyone know this. The teacher continues and then motions to her to let her know he’s being balanced. She’s gone. Her stuff’s there, but she’s gone. Here’s the kicker.
We can hear her from the hall. The whole class, the teacher, everyone. She’s yelling on the phone to her friend again. “Oh my god. We have to read Al Franken’s book and stuff! I know, can you believe it? I don’t… don’t think I can take this.” She goes on, but so does the teacher. A few minutes later she pops back in, grabs her bag and leaves.
That was fucking fantastic! Who does that? Bitches about the class in class, leaves, bitches outside the room so the teacher can hear (!) and then leaves? Stupid, ignorant, trashy republican bitches, that’s who![1] I’m going to miss her. She provided more entertainment in one evening than I’ve seen from most dumb people in years. Sigh.
In other news: got my exemption without the threat of legal action this time. I’m still being hunted by the Cerebral Catalyst for a story, so that’s nice though also a constant reminder that I have no time to write. End of college looms, so I’m a little odd about that. Can’t wait to get an apartment with Allison, I’ve got that. Guess that’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll have something to report in a day or so. (Cue ominous music, roll “To Be Continued” in Back to the Future font and raise lights)
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