Dumb People A-Go-Go!

            As I sit here at 3:40 on a Saturday morning I hear, through my door, the following:

Guy 1:  Don’t move.
Guy 2:  Shut up!
Guy 1:  Listen to me!
Guy 2:  I said shut up!
The sound of scuffling is heard.  It escalates, turning into the grunts of a fight.
Guy 2:  Get off me!
Guy 1:  I said stay still!  You won’t listen!
The sounds turn to all out fighting.  Banging against walls, grunts and slamming into doors is heard. The sound fades as they get farther away, eventually going out into the stairwell.

            This is also the same day that I was in the bathroom and then two people came in.  One banged on the door of the stall for a few seconds until the other guy told him it was occupied.  Of course, he kept banging when I told him someone was in it.  The rest of the scene went as follows:

Idiot Who Banged On The Stall Door:  Is there someone in there?
Idiot’s Male Companion:  There’s someone in there.
IWBOTSD:  (now peeing with his stall door opened) What the fuck!  Hey, that’s the piss stall!  Is he taking a crap?
IMC:  He’s taking a crap.
IWBOTSD:  What the fuck!?  Don’t fucking shit in the piss stall!
IMC:  Ok buddy…

            So, my question is, why are people so stupid?  And it’s not just these guys.  Everyone is.  And everyone has their moments.  I tend to be an elitist.  I pick and choose whom I spend my time with.  I try to pick smart people and, failing that, entertainingly stupid ones.  But the end result of observation is still the same: people tend to set themselves up to be morons.

            Some people, for example, tend to set things up on lies.  Relationships, exchanges of information; whatever the case may be they tend towards lies.  The problem there is that you don’t know all they times they’ve acted like assholes until you see it all in retrospect after they’ve been revealed.  It does, however, take a moderately smart person to do that.  And no on is really above lying or at least selective honesty to achieve the social balance of their preference.

            So, dumb people act like idiots, smart people act like idiots but with a goal in mind.  An example of the first category would be a frat boy or sorostitute (I see frat boy as an equally insulting term), an example of the latter would be a Republican.  Some people, the latter group that we tend to agree with, may fall into a third category.  These people only have moments of mental laxity but that infrequency makes them all the more memorable and trying.

What I think I’m getting at is that the standard for cerebral ineptitude (read: dumbness in hick) for the human race should be revised.  Not be cynical but everyone seems to have their moments of idiocy.  It’s just that some people also have other’s moments as well.  Shouldn’t we update what we expect from people, tone down our expectations?  Or at least change our reaction.  Instead of getting upset at the requisite events we should be more open.  I’m not saying to accept them, just treat them as destined.  We all become disappointed at some of the people we know when they turn the truth of their perceptions outward and you find out that things aren’t as they seem.  We all get fed up with the drunken moron in our hall who thinks that shouting in a stage whisper actually helps keep secrets.

 My advice?  Expect idiocy from everyone.  Simply consider the person when trying to anticipate its form.  Honestly, people deserve a lot less credit than we give them.   It’s just that some people are better at hiding it.  And others vomit it out on a regular basis.  With no subtlety.  All over the bathroom floor.  Every Saturday night.  Assholes.