Retraction Junction?

Yeah, forget that whole thing.  I meant to just say that I’m pissed.  Some people piss me off and they tend to live on my floor.

Dumb People A-Go-Go!

            As I sit here at 3:40 on a Saturday morning I hear, through my door, the following:

Guy 1:  Don’t move.
Guy 2:  Shut up!
Guy 1:  Listen to me!
Guy 2:  I said shut up!
The sound of scuffling is heard.  It escalates, turning into the grunts of a fight.
Guy 2:  Get off me!
Guy 1:  I said stay still!  You won’t listen!
The sounds turn to all out fighting.  Banging against walls, grunts and slamming into doors is heard. The sound fades as they get farther away, eventually going out into the stairwell.

            This is also the same day that I was in the bathroom and then two people came in.  One banged on the door of the stall for a few seconds until the other guy told him it was occupied.  Of course, he kept banging when I told him someone was in it.  The rest of the scene went as follows:

Idiot Who Banged On The Stall Door:  Is there someone in there?
Idiot’s Male Companion:  There’s someone in there.
IWBOTSD:  (now peeing with his stall door opened) What the fuck!  Hey, that’s the piss stall!  Is he taking a crap?
IMC:  He’s taking a crap.
IWBOTSD:  What the fuck!?  Don’t fucking shit in the piss stall!
IMC:  Ok buddy…

            So, my question is, why are people so stupid?  And it’s not just these guys.  Everyone is.  And everyone has their moments.  I tend to be an elitist.  I pick and choose whom I spend my time with.  I try to pick smart people and, failing that, entertainingly stupid ones.  But the end result of observation is still the same: people tend to set themselves up to be morons.

            Some people, for example, tend to set things up on lies.  Relationships, exchanges of information; whatever the case may be they tend towards lies.  The problem there is that you don’t know all they times they’ve acted like assholes until you see it all in retrospect after they’ve been revealed.  It does, however, take a moderately smart person to do that.  And no on is really above lying or at least selective honesty to achieve the social balance of their preference.

            So, dumb people act like idiots, smart people act like idiots but with a goal in mind.  An example of the first category would be a frat boy or sorostitute (I see frat boy as an equally insulting term), an example of the latter would be a Republican.  Some people, the latter group that we tend to agree with, may fall into a third category.  These people only have moments of mental laxity but that infrequency makes them all the more memorable and trying.

What I think I’m getting at is that the standard for cerebral ineptitude (read: dumbness in hick) for the human race should be revised.  Not be cynical but everyone seems to have their moments of idiocy.  It’s just that some people also have other’s moments as well.  Shouldn’t we update what we expect from people, tone down our expectations?  Or at least change our reaction.  Instead of getting upset at the requisite events we should be more open.  I’m not saying to accept them, just treat them as destined.  We all become disappointed at some of the people we know when they turn the truth of their perceptions outward and you find out that things aren’t as they seem.  We all get fed up with the drunken moron in our hall who thinks that shouting in a stage whisper actually helps keep secrets.

 My advice?  Expect idiocy from everyone.  Simply consider the person when trying to anticipate its form.  Honestly, people deserve a lot less credit than we give them.   It’s just that some people are better at hiding it.  And others vomit it out on a regular basis.  With no subtlety.  All over the bathroom floor.  Every Saturday night.  Assholes.

The Music Issue

            Ok, enough is enough.  It’s time to take a break from republican bashing (hard to do) and pithy social commentary (hard to do).  It’s time for me to return to my roots, take a dip in the fountain of pretentiousness.  Yes, this is The Music Issue.

First of all, I do think that it’s important to let all of you out there know that
A) I don’t own a TV and therefore don’t watch MTV and
2) I don’t listen to the radio

So, where do I get my fabulous new music?  Two main sources, aside from recommendations from people.  The first is The Princeton Record Exchange.  Cheap, random CD purchases has a lot going for it and I highly recommend it: Completely untainted by mainstream demand; hit and miss at low, low prices; and the topper is if you find a gem you’ve got the instant gratification of knowing someone else passed over it.  You’re better than someone else after just one good find!  Brilliant!  A couple of incredible hits that have been or can be found at PRX:

            White Mud Freeway

Electronica tinged folk.  Great flowing stuff.

            Mylab

Hip-hop tinged jazz.  Think Ocean’s 11 soundtrack, but real music.

            Cry Baby Cry

Imagine the power of ancient Egyptian gods.  This band wielded such power.  They are a fallen testament to a grand and eternal empire.  At any time they could reach out and bring punk to a new level of spirituality and civilization, but fall because of internal struggle.  This is one of the best punk bands ever, with a disturbingly perfect grasp of form, lyrics and appeal.  A true one album powerhouse.

The other source of music is 3Voor12, and these are recommendations from there.  Nay, commandments.  Mitzvoth.  Truth.

La Breeze by Simian

The video itself is enough to stun with it’s indy simplicity and irony.  The music is simple, evoking a structure that’s been likened to John Lennon.  Oddly enough, when I heard this I thought of Sean Lennon and his explorations.  There’s a fun, sinister force at work here.  Like anger or angst actually aimed in a creative direction.  Very fun.

            Canada by Low

Smooth and sweet to the ears, this is oddly one of Low’s harder tracks.  It’s one of those tunes that tickles you inside like you’ve heard it before, even if you haven’t.

Everybody Knows and Tumble and Fall by Johan

Kick Out the Chairs by Munk

            This starts to get into the angry realm.  Ridiculous video.  Possibly meaningless music.  Worth putting in your head

                        Dance With Me by Adam Green

            The ultimate in post-ironic rock.

                        Voor Ik Vergeet by Spinvis

            Might depress the hell out of you, but it’s beautiful.

                        Come With You by Millionaire

            The video is the pinnacle in sexual rock achievement.

                        Bloc Party and The Subways are a great place to look at the upcoming direction of artistic punkish rock.

                        Trance by Festina Lente is where to go for some screaming metal that doesn’t suck!

                        Oh My Love by Sophia

I Said Pig on Friday by Eastern Lane

The Shy Retirer by The Arab Strap

Club Foot by Kasabian

            Just a few more top picks to pick up around the net.  Honestly, this stuff is great.  You might not like all of it, but there’s bound to be something in there for you so try them.  And besides simply being better to what you’re going to hear elsewhere, this shit is flat out capital.  It’s not just better than what you have, it’s what you should have been listening to all along.

Would you believe...?

             First update of the new (gentile) year.  With the new year, though not because of it, come changes.  I’ve got a new wardrobe, for those of who out there who didn’t get to see me while I was at home.  I’ve also got a whole new schedule.  I’m not terrible excited about the classes.  Jew class with Brosky is ok.  Playwriting is ­– well, I have to deal with a lot of theatre people so it’s taxing to say the least.  Satire feels easy.  Very, very  easy.  Buddhism and Sci-Fi: East and West…  Ok, why is it that when I try to take a non-western course the teacher seems like a complete flake?  Buddhism seems like a basic survey class that I could recreate with a book or two.  Sci-Fi, well, she’s just not that smart.  She seems really into the class and all but the information is high-school level.  And we all know how long ago high school stopped being an adequate source of knowledge.

            Funny story time.

             Setting: Satire.  Time, 10 minutes before class.  It’s the first Monday of the semester so it’s the first meeting of the class.  Most of the people are seated already, waiting for the teacher.  Then, from the hall, we all hear a very loud girl.  Apparently some guy is an idiot.  He’s such an idiot that she needs to say this (not exaggerating) 6 times.  Then she sticks her head in and (loudly, still) asks if this is Satire.  Someone tells her it is.  “Fabulous,” she booms and disappears again.  But we can hear her.  I fear I’ll hear her till the day I die.  What?  (Insert white boy’s name here) got a BMW?  Well, this blonde lets everyone in the class know that he too is an idiot.  And she hopes he crashes it.  Because he’s an idiot.  He should crash it like all of his other $100,000 dollar cars (other?!).  The classroom is silent aside from a few snickers: everyone invested in her conversation now.  I turn to the guy next to me, someone I know from a previous class, and ask “All of them?”.  The class bursts out and stops just as she comes in, sits and starts talking (loudly still) to the girl next to her, much to that girl’s chagrin.

The teacher comes in, class starts and all seems well.  Then he asks if anyone has seen something that they weren’t sure if it was a joke or not.  His example?  A print out of the homepage at W Ketchup (the “W” stands for Washington.  Bullshit).  At the time their slogan was: You don’t support Democrats.  Why should your ketchup?  Of course the boisterous blonde pipes up.  “Oh my god.  Is this class, like, liberal?  And Bush bashing?  Because if it is… I don’t think I can take that.”  The teacher responds that it is a satire class and satire takes aim at whomever is in government, be it on a federal, state or local scale.  She’s not happy.  She lets everyone know this.  The teacher continues and then motions to her to let her know he’s being balanced.  She’s gone.  Her stuff’s there, but she’s gone.  Here’s the kicker.

We can hear her from the hall.  The whole class, the teacher, everyone.  She’s yelling on the phone to her friend again.  “Oh my god.  We have to read Al Franken’s book and stuff!  I know, can you believe it?  I don’t… don’t think I can take this.”  She goes on, but so does the teacher.  A few minutes later she pops back in, grabs her bag and leaves.

That was fucking fantastic!  Who does that?  Bitches about the class in class, leaves, bitches outside the room so the teacher can hear (!) and then leaves?  Stupid, ignorant, trashy republican bitches, that’s who!^[1]  I’m going to miss her.  She provided more entertainment in one evening than I’ve seen from most dumb people in years.  Sigh.

In other news: got my exemption without the threat of legal action this time.  I’m still being hunted by the Cerebral Catalyst for a story, so that’s nice though also a constant reminder that I have no time to write.  End of college looms, so I’m a little odd about that.  Can’t wait to get an apartment with Allison, I’ve got that.  Guess that’s it for now.  I’m sure I’ll have something to report in a day or so.  (Cue ominous music, roll “To Be Continued” in Back to the Future font and raise lights)

 

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 [1]And no, I will not hook up with this one