Revolution number nein.

I watch Revolution. I don’t think it’s particularly good and it is one of the most frustrating shows I have ever encountered but I watch it regularly. The plot is mediocre. There’s an established world where electricity has been rendered void, though people’s nervous systems are fine, so don’t think about it. The technology that explains how this happened is laughable and, were it real, turning off power would be the absolute least it could do. Seriously, it’s akin to traveling back in time and wowing Victorian folk with your flameless light which is actually a smartphone with the screen turned white. It can do more! Oh, and every character is completely interchangeable with someone else of a similar goal. There are no personalities, only a temperament and a physical goal.

So why do I keep coming back each week to watch? Because of everything happening in the background. I’ve said that Revolution is essentially the “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” of a show that never existed. The story mainly focuses on a handful of men with family issues who try to be better to their families while killing the other guys. That’s nearly everything going on. But in the background? Atlanta is waging a war against Philadelphia, one of the side effects of the blackout is that cancer and other diseases are cured, and people are re-purposing ships to work without electricity and struggling to reopen international trade routes with only manual guidance across the seas. But we get a show about three families in a pissing contest.

So if none of those ideas are featured prominently in the show how are they presented? By our characters passing through scenes and tossing out world-building teasers like a dealer’s first baggie. This one is free, but keep coming back. And, like a hit, the promise of the high is always a cut above the actual trip. The trade routes are mentioned to give an idea of how wealthy a new city they’re passing through must be. A character shows up for a single episode to add emotional weight that maybe this blackout isn’t all bad and hey, no one has cancer anymore. One of our leads proves himself to be a great tactician and gains the trust of Atlanta, is granted control of their army and uses it just to get close to his rivals and get into a fist fight. It’s really that bad.

And that’s what this show is. The same sharks circling each other week after week while just above the surface is the Orca, manned by Quint and Brody and Hooper, with a shipment full of apricot brandy. We get a fish screensaver and miss Jaws playing out mere feet away on the other side of the firmament.

I’ve been enduring this all season but it really struck home how formulaic they use the interesting parts of the world they’ve made as teasers when this season ended. One man loses his army and the other two gain control of armies and the episode comes to a close with a fist fight. Then, in order to clear the karma of the man that caused the blackout, his wife and daughter manage to restore power by shutting down the Macguffin from a high security bunker. Big actions from small emotional stakes. But suddenly…

It’s revealed that a character who’s been doofing around for half a season is actually a patriotic secret agent. He launches (now powered) nukes at both Philadelphia and Atlanta. And he’s done this under the orders of the American President in exile, who’s holed up in the new American colony. It’s located in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba and it’s protected by a fleet of pirate ships. Yes, we’ve been watching people hike across the south to get to a computer to turn on more computers when this entire time there’s been GWB commanding a pirate fleet from a conquered Cuba. Why am I not allowed to watch that show? I want that show! Everyone wants that show!

I’m sure the season premier will somehow negate the nuclear missiles already in flight in order to focus more time on Mustache Dad from the Twilight movies waving his sword around like a feather duster. Why am I sure? Because this show is constantly lowering the stakes. In writing one is supposed to push the importance and intensity as high as possible without crossing into (too much) melodrama. Revolution is a rare bird in that it will establish incredibly high stakes and then show you how uninvolved our cast is with said stakes. It’s almost postmodern in its irony.

I know it’s weird to be so invested in something I care so little for. I’m just really interested in the secret Hamlet, the “man behind the curtain”, the show that could have been “George W. Bush: Pirate King of Guantanamo Bay!” But I promise you this; my next post will be about fueled by love.