Here's the concept: what movies would you go back in time to stop yourself from watching? It has to be a theater release because something you see on cable or rent or Netflix is still a pretty passive experience. When you go out to a movie there's traveling, usually a $40 bag of popcorn and a block of time set aside for the experience. And it can't be something terrible that at least you have fun with now. This is a movie so bad you actually regret the entire experience. There are two for me that come instantly to mind.
The first is Spider-man 3. Yeah, I regret spending money of the second one but number 3? I left that theater in a sort of shock. I was actually turned off from movies for a while. Something rekindled my interest (looking at 2007 releases it was probably The Lookout) and I like to think I made a full recovery but... I admit, I may have developed a Pavlovian mistrust of Tobey Maguire. If given the chance I would erase this from my personal history.
The second is What the Bleep Do We Know. It claims to be a science documentary but is actually groundless propaganda from a cult that believes their leaders are reincarnations of priests from Atlantis. Yeah, it's that bat-shit stupid. Like many new age cranks (*cough Deepak Chopra cough*) it's formed around the amazing science of quantum physics. And like many new age cranks they fail to grasp the actual concepts they build their belief system on. I left the theater feeling more than cheated. I felt insulted. With Spider-man 3 I assume that it was made to entertain. Sure, the target audience is probably coma patients and glue-huffing hobos but it works for them, I assume. What the Bleep Do We Know was a glossy ball of misinformation that was either made by actively scheming con-men or utter morons. Either way I was subjected to their "vision" for 109 minutes and I would love to have that time back to do something more productive. Like pass into a coma or huff glue. The worst part? I saw it on a recommendation. Some recommendations make you question someone's taste level. And some make you flat out question their sanity.
And now I open I open it up to you. What would you go back in time to stop yourself from going to a theater to see?
1 comment:
"Cop Out." Thought that maybe the critics were wrong, and had some hope that Kevin Smith had made a decent movie. Lord, was I wrong. Not only was it unfunny, but it was downright boring. I don't like alternating between annoyed and uninterested when watching a comedy.
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