Movie Review: Kick Ass

First of all, it wasn't. When you have a property named “Kick Ass” then it better come across pretty damn strong. Instead this movie was just a moderately weak addition to the current trend of “gritty and realistic” super hero movies. I put that in quotes because anything actually realistic can't also be about super heroes. That's like having a non-fiction book on leprechauns.

I held off on watching this because it's based on a Mark Millar comic. I haven't read his Kick Ass but I have read enough of his other books to know his standard notes: glorified brute force as character development, all women as whores or mouthy vaginas, rape as more character development, lots of guns, obnoxious 4^th wall breaking narrative. I only saw the movie after being told that some things that a friend objected to in the comic were supposedly absent from the movie.

The film does have a strong Millar feel to it so I don't know how much was taken out. Not enough, in my opinion. And yet it's too soft to function as the testosterone-loving Millar vehicle it wants to be. The story is bland, the directing adds nothing and there are too many genres being dropped on a weak foundation. The result is a film that is less than the sum of its parts.

There is action and blood and guns. That cannot be denied. However, this is all placed on the framework of a teen sex comedy and that chassis is not strong enough to support everything that is piled on top of it. We have a young, whiney teen who takes up the role of Kick Ass, a super hero. But he has real world problems. Eventually he becomes the “gay best friend” of the girl he likes. Oh, that's so hilarious. Except that there's not enough character to go around and really it's just something he's doing because that's the situation that's been placed in front of him. And that's really his special ability. He simply does whatever is in front of him. He buys a costume and then fights people that he literally falls on top of. At one point he gets taken to the hospital after a fight and this results in him being full of nerve damage and metal plates. Of course the “gritty and realistic” drops completely as he has entire bones and joints replaced but is walking again in what appears to be a week or less. He then is confronted with other heroes (Big Daddy and Hit Girl) and pretty much does whatever they say.

One would think that this could lead to him growing into his role. But the journey of the hero is twisted to useless steps in a loveless dance. His “rejection of the call” stage lasts for all of three lines until Hit Girl tells him to essentially man up and get back to work. So how does he come into his role as a full fledged super hero? It's not by inner strength. It's because someone buys him a large gun. That is probably the essence of any Mark Millar property. Can't be a man? Get a gun.

All that? That's the whole movie. Sorry if I spoiled it. Sure, he gets the girl. She has some ridiculous social associations that act as ridiculous plot devices. She goes from being a sweet girl who does charity work (and dates pimps/drug dealers?) to a mini-skirt wearing nympho who has to have sex against dumpsters in trash filled alleys. This too has a very Millar feel.

There are also action sequences. Sometimes they are flat out fun but they are never really fun in the context of the movie. There are some nice stunts but often this is knocked flat by bad narration or the injection of awkward sentimentality or out of place pop-culture references in order to keep the teen sex comedy aspect in there. The parts that do work revolve around Hit Girl and Big Daddy. Why? Because they really don't have anything to do with Kick Ass' male sexual fantasy and fetish fulfillment.

Unlike Millar's stock “boy becomes man by way of a gun and dirty sex” story they are interesting and fun, if not all that three dimensional. Nicholas Cage is the best I've seen him in a long time as Big Daddy. He plays his out of costume persona as a father well. In costume he's not channeling but imitating Adam West as Batman and it works. Do realize that his cheese factor works in a “gritty” movie so often it's the world around him that fails to add to the story and that is a shame. Hit girl is great. Some of her scenes are bordering on “look, it's an 11 year old cursing and killing” but for the most part watching an 11 year old cursing and killing is disturbingly entertaining. Chloe Moretz as Hit Girl gives a solid performance. She's not courting any awards with her role but the actress, much like the character, gets the job done and does it well.

A Hit Girl movie is what this should have been. She has a story arc. She has an interesting back story. She's funnier, more shocking and a better fighter. She's the perfect subject for a twisted super hero story. Hit Girl, to put it plainly, kicks ass. Kick Ass does not.

On a scale of -5 to +5

Kick Ass is a +1.5