Why I can't, in good conscience, wish you a merry Christmas

It’s that time of year again. Yes, that time that comes once a year, every year: the “Holiday Season”. And with the holiday season comes a certain number of annual battles. There’s the “religious displays on public property” struggle. There is also the eternal “to have or not have Christmas in schools” fracas. But what I’m going to talk about is the smaller but far more common skirmish known as the “happy holidays” blitz.

Yes, the ever present scuffle over what the proper greeting to share during this winter season is. The common nondenominational standard is “happy holidays” and that’s a fine choice. It can cover anything you’ll be celebrating this season that is a holiday and that’s the extreme majority of people. Its only real opponents are the militant “merry Christmas” crusaders who want to force their reason for this season as THE reason for the season: Jesus. It is a good thing to note that the solstice is the actual reason for the season. The winter solstice is when the Earth’s axis is tilted the farthest from the sun as it can get and the days become longer, the nights shorter and the possibility of not freezing and starving to death began to look more realistic to struggling communities that lived before heating and grocery stores came into existence. For all of you who think that the winter solstice is actually a pagan celebration you might be surprised to find out that Yule is the pagan celebration that was adopted by Christians in Europe in order to pull in more converts. So for those militant “Merry Christmas”ers who revel in the Yuletide spirit… you’re the proud participants in an ancient pagan holiday! Congratulations.

The interesting thing about the Christmas Army is that they insist that everyone wish them a merry Christmas. Let’s look at that for a moment. The fact that it should be “merry Christmas” no matter who is being addressed means that they are specifically wishing their holiday on others. That’s fine as a proper Christian really can’t endorse Chanukah, a day remembering a military victory over non-Jews who wished to impart their beliefs on the Jews. A Jew can’t really endorse Christ’s Mass, a celebration of (to Jews) the birth of a man who ended up espousing the end to Judaic law. So wishing your own holiday to others is fine…

As long as you’re prepared to be wished other people’s holidays on yourself. For example, as a (cultural) Jew if someone wishes me a merry Christmas I have a number of logical responses to give:

• Happy holidays.
  The standard and probably the safest.

• Season’s greetings.
  Remember that one?

• Happy Chanukah.
  This, while completely appropriate and a response in kind, has the ability to make the other person feel awkward. It is confrontational to the extent that within the holiday wish is the fact that they just wished a Jew a merry Christmas.

• Happy solstice.
  Solstice is an astronomical event that occurs at some moment during the 21^st of December, no pagan beliefs necessary or implied.

• Thank you.
  Not rude in any way though it will probably get you some odd looks.

• Thanks, but no thank you.
  At first the above might seem rude and even more confrontational than the previously mentioned “Happy Chanukah” but in any other social situation this would be completely acceptable and even polite. Offered a food item you do not eat? Handed a flier that you’re not interested in? Any offer that you would like to politely turn down can use this response so why would someone else’s religious celebration be any different?

While I am thankfully not in retail my wife is and has already experienced the wrath of at least two customers who are crusading for Christmas. These people are rude, usually mean spirited and at least tacitly bigoted. While I won’t get into what Christianity would think of these traits it is moderately safe to say that none of them are part of the joyous and loving Christmas spirit these people are trying to shovel down other people’s throats.

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I know that a lot of people, some of my friends included, think this whole thing is dumb and that Christmas is pretty much an American holiday at this point. If find that the vast majority of people who feel this way come from a Christian background. It doesn’t really matter if they are practicing or not, they still come from the comfort of a majority. Being part of a minority (or even coming from one minority to another, as is my case) gives one a completely different perspective. Christmas is not a comforting family event for me. When the decorations with Santa were put up in schools and the town Christmas tree went up at the municipal center, near the courthouse, police station and library, it was a reminder of being different (which is fine) and no one recognizing or respecting that (which is not fine).

For people with Christian families, whether they are Christians themselves or not, the holiday of Christmas represents something completely different than what it does to me. They see it as a fun, festive time of year. I see it as the continued implicit acceptance of Christianity by American culture and local governments. And while in practice Christmas unfortunately has developed “secular American” aspects it remains, at its core, a religious celebration for a religion I’m not a part of for a god I don’t agree with.

So I ask all of you out there to remember the real reason for the season: the Earth’s axial tilt in relation to the sun is at its farthest. Historically mid-winter was a freighting time when food supplies could run low, there was less daylight and therefore less usable time in the day, the cold was at its worst and survival could become a terrifying day-to-day issue. The “reason for the season” was that solstice was the turning point. There’s a reason that Yule, Christmas and Chanukah all rely on lights and fires in their celebration; because they represented survival, hope and more hospitable seasons. Families would gather not to rejoice but for warmth and because who knew if they would survive to see each other again. Then the solstice would come and the winter would ebb. Days would become longer and it really did turn into a season of hope. To me, that seems like more than enough reason to celebrate.

For my money I now prefer some variation on “ solstice”, be it happy, joyous, safe or warm.

“Season’s greetings” also properly captures this concept; by definition the season is the reason for the season.

“Happy holidays” comes in as a third choice for me, being very safe but also works on the assumption (however safe it may seem to be) that there’s a holiday at the core of their celebration. Personally, there’s no god at the core of my holiday gatherings and festivity. There are, however, friends and fun.

So with that I wish all of you readers a safe and joyous solstice. That’s a sentiment I can get behind.