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Thursday, May 1, 2008

Miley Cyrus and the no good, terrible, very bad PR incident. But the photos aren't half bad.

I'm going to write on a topic that I don't think anyone here ever anticipated.  This whole column will be about... Miley Cyrus.

Watching the news, reading the news and listening to the news I've been flooded with this story.  Parenting writers and groups are up in arms.  I've heard people rant against her, Disney and Annie Leibovitz.  And now I have something to say to all of those parents and people upset by this infamous photo:

Shut up.

Seriously, you people need to stop talking about this one simply and, dare I say it, innocent photograph like you just found her doing lines of coke off of a corpse's ass.  Let's take a look at it, shall we?



There, that wasn't so painful.  What's the big deal?  Looking at this photo in context this is simple and "nice" picture.  In fact, it's a little bland.  My biggest issue with it was that her lips look distractingly red compared to the rest of the pale image.  Now, let's deconstruct.
  • It's taken by Annie Leibovitz.  She's an amazing and respected world famous photographer.  Should we give her the benefit of the doubt?  Normally the answer is yes but in this case parents are itching for a witch hunt.  Leibovitz is known for taking great portraits.  Sometimes these involve nudity, sometimes just taking the subject out of their element.
  • In this case THERE IS NO NUDITY.  Technically she has no shirt on but she's more covered up than someone wearing a skirt and halter top.  Saying this is topless is a) false and b) the logic equivalent of freaking out when someone wears shorts because they're "not wearing pants".
  • In terms of composition the shot is classically composed.  Really.  Look at it.  It's nothing you haven't seen painted hundreds of times.  Not only that but since there's no nudity at all it's probably one of the most modest versions of that pose you've seen.
On NPR one of the interviewed people, a writer for Free Range Children, referred to an event called the "Britney Spears Peel" which is essentially the event that shows the teen star's fall from innocence.  That this sexualization of the teen star seems to be inevitable.  Let's go through the teenie bopper idols for a moment.
  1. Britney Spears - She started as a fetish symbol.  She appeared in her video, already gyrating, as an honest to god underage school girl.  No sexualization there...
  2. Paris Hilton - She began her career as a talentless member of the new leisure class.  Then she had a sex tape.  Of course, she's an adult (physically) so other than embarrassment what's wrong with that?
  3. Hillary Duff - The last Miley Cyrus.  She didn't have a fall from innocence.  She simply got too old for the roles they wanted to give her.
  4. Lindsey Lohan - The only example from this list that might fall into the "fallen angel" group.  She started off talented and burned out real fast.  Not because of anything sexual, though.  Drugs and booze.  So even this one doesn't count.

By this time I hope you've all realized what the parents are really complaining about.  It's obvious.  That " inevitable sexualization" that teen stars seem to succumb to?  It's called puberty and if they didn't go through it then they'd have much bigger problems than bad PR.  Parents aren't pissed off because their kids just lost another idol.  If that were the case they'd have waited until Cyrus did something shocking and inappropriate, like releasing an Achey Breaky song.  No, parents are pissed off that a product they felt safe leaving their kids unattended with turned out to be a human being.  They're pissed off because now they are reminded that they have look at the media they give to their children, that it's no long safe to put on the TV and leave for the day.  Hey, bad parents!  Here's a bulletin for you.  It never was safe to do that!  Oh, and those same parents are probably also a little peeved that this innocent 15 year old has aknoledged her sexuality, even without doing anything sexual.  And that reminds them that their precious little 9-12 year old demographics are one day going to grow up.

You want to bitch about her pictures?  How about that creepy shot of her snuggling with her dad.  Or this one where she proclaims her Satanism proudly!



That'd be fine.  But don't bitch about her having a body and getting used to it as it changes.  Keep your parent issues of childhood, prepubescence and shame to yourselves.  Stop attacking Vanity Fair, Annie Leibovitz and Miley Cyrus.

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