It's clobbering time.

    Oh lord, there's so much to tell you people about.  Some of you have already seen some of this. Some of you saw a bit in the printouts I brought in today.  You see, out there, I have this system.  I gather all sorts of news feeds and then print out my own newspaper.  It's a great system.  It gives a more complete world view and I end up skimming a lot less than I do online.  So, onto the news!

    For anyone complaining about gas prices, take a look at the situation in Zimbabwe.  Yes, that's right.  In about 3 months it will be cheaper to wipe your ass with a $500 bill than to actually buy the toilet paper.  That's a problem.  And why am I freaking out about this when I tend to expect no less for the world political arena?  Because the sheer magnitude is astounding.  A lot of my friends know that I'm an anapoliticist.  I've given up on everyone.  We also know that nearly everyone has been using Africa as a testing ground for corruption techniques and weapons plans.  You want to try out a new weapon in the quest for refined urban warfare?  Try it in Africa.  But fuck, man!  80% unemployment!  That's not a functioning society.   This is an issue.  And it's not getting nearly the coverage it should.  Honestly, how many of you have heard about this before now?  When I'm your best source for international news you're in trouble.

    Steve Colbert's White House Correspondents Dinner address has also been snubbed by major media. You can read about many of the snubs here.  In fact, the news is now covering The News' lack of response more than the address itself.  So watch it. Read it, if the moving pictures and sound are a bit too much to take in all at once.  But most of all, not the incredible uncomfortable silence in the room during the entire thing.

    All riled up in political indignation?  Good, because I have more to fan the flames of anger.  This little bit will show you that, while signing legislation, Bush actually announced that it did not apply to him simply because he's the commander in chief.  I'm conflicted now.  Normally I'd make a sarcastic, witty quip.  However, I'm completely hooked on an image; I wonder how loud the echo from Bush's completely empty cranial cavity would be should he just happen to be shot in the head.  I think it would be deafening.  I know it's not as subtle as I usually play it, but it's completely taken over my mental functions.  I wonder...

    Then it's just a hop, skip and a jump away to Neil Pollack's blog.  Yes, it's on a smaller scale, but boy howdy does it show how fucked up "Ameerihcans" can be.  Really, keep repeating it to yourself.  One day it just might come true.  These are the same people who come into the store and repeat book titles over and over to me, even when I'm at the registers.  Saying it a lot doesn't make it true.  It does, however, let everyone know that you're not listening to a word.

    And now for something completely different.