Shorty

       Today I had someone ask for a bunch of out of print books (that they knew were out of print) by Friday.  I also had a teacher request the text she is teaching from.  Her first class is tomorrow.  In retaliation to stupidity I found my Freddy scripts and banged out a new strip.  Freddy and the Scream is back.
      

      

      Or go to the site here.

All in a days work...

       So we got in these official lightsaber replicas at work.  They have motion sensors to make noises when you hold it still, swing it or hit something.  Full length "blade" that powers up and down.  It's fucking sweet.  I got into 3 duels before my lunch.  Yeah, pretty fucking sweet...

Update from the whirl of words

       This is more of an update than a post, really.  I've been wracking my brains for a one act to submit to PlayOffs.  As much as I hate to admit it, I really want to win.  Stupid people trying to help me out.  Damn you all!  But yeah, the winner gets rehearsal space and a (tiny) budget to do a production for finals.  And the winner of that wins (a tiny) $100.  More than that, though, anyone chosen to participate gets full casting and directing control.  That would be a nice something to have under my belt.
       On another creative note I just found my Freddy and the Scream portfolio.  That means I have scripts again!  More Freddy soon to come!  I've gotten a couple of complaints/requests for them but I didn't know what I had planned.  Sorry guys.  Now I have the whole plot back and you'll be seeing strips popping up once more.
       Let's see.  Play contest, Freddy comics...  I still have a few fiction submissions floating around out there but worst comes to worst I can crawl back to the Cerebral Catalyst for some more credits.  Kidding, really.  Because I love.  Oh!  I bought a pirate coat.  Should be here by Friday.  I got it online but saw it in a costume shop toady in the color I ordered: burgundy.  It looks nice.  I will be one mighty fine Captain Hook.  I wanted to go as Hook pre hand cutting incident but Allison says no one will get it.  And if anyone wants to buy me a present, get me this.
       I guess that's all to say.  I told you it was more of an update than a real post.  Just saying that I've come up with material, not what the material actually is.  Thank you and good night.

The write stuff

       So, I've decided to start writing more.  This is a bit of necessity from two places.  One, i need to write.  It's why I switched majors to it, it's why I put the screw to my high school way back when.  It's what I do.... it's who I am.  Two, I'm gonna try to bang out a one act for this competition.  And it's come to my attention that in order to write I can't involve myself in politics.  It's either fiction of gonzo for me.  I gotta pick one.
       It's junk culture and society for me.  Anything but world affairs.  And that means Degrassi.  Thank god I get Fridays are since next Friday is the start of the new season.  No more shame.  I love Degrassi.  Deal with it.  And I love Jae, my Degrassi slut. 
       Ok, so the reason for the Degrassi harping is that there's a special behind the scenes thing of it on right now.  Also, Jae was rejecting America and China just to be sent to Canada to learn the ways of Degrassi.  And I have to say, the writers are actually pretty together on this show.  They're talking about these rules that they have that really help it even though it's not so obvious when watching.  They are forbidden to write a scene in which there are adults talking without any kids present.  Kids have to solve the issues.  And even though the rules are for high school soap it makes for good soap.  I know it's not Shakespeare, but if they tried to make it as high as that then it would be a terrible kid's soap. These guys really know how to write their form.  Kudos to them.
       In the vein of bad (subjectively), does anyone else miss Just Deal?  With Kaylee?  Just me?  Ok.

       I have actually been having ideas recently.  For stories and whatnot.  Characters pop up, plots.  Even little narrative strains.  And they come when I'm not popping pills, which is the second best part!  The best is that the ideas come at all.  I went through a few months of dry mindedness.  I don't want to jinx it, but I have fodder now.  In fact, I think I'm going to go off and start on a new story right now. 

       One last Degrassi note.  What ever happened to Spinner's sister?

A meme is born

       Now you can hate like a local... anywhere in the world!  This is what the internet was made for.  Other than porn.  Funny note:  I stumbled on this while trying to find the right spelling of kike (either kike or kyke).  What I found was an education.

Low-Fat Apple Struessel Muffin

from

       A woman came up to the cafe today and started asking about muffins.  It was hilarious.  Let me recount the tale:

Her:  I'll have the low-fat banana nut muffin.
Me:  Actually, it's the low-fat apple muffin.
Her:  Ok, I'll have that.
Me:  Actually, we're out of that.
Her:  That's ok.  I'll have the banana nut muffin.  Is it the same thing as the apple muffin?
Me:  Yeah, it's the same.  Except it doesn't have any apple in it.  And it has bananas and nuts. 

At this point a woman on line started laughing hysterically, trying to hold back but not very successfully.  "That's why it's called a banana nut muffin," she gasped.

I was dead serious at the time but going over it again, I'm crying because I'm laughing so hard.  Oh, lord.

Wolverine: Soultaker

       Normally I don't review comics I read.  There are a few I swear by (Transmet being one) and a bunch I simply enjoy.  There are also a lot I read and don't care about.  I get through about two graphic novels a day at work and have pretty much ready everything Marvel in the store.  I'm working my way through the better Batman as we speak.  But today I read Wolverine: Soultaker and knew I had to tell you about it.        It is, as far as I can recall, the worst comic I have ever read.  It's not just the style, the plot or the basic concepts they play with.  It's the combined gestalt of the work that destroys anything and everything that writers and artists have done since the first comic on the cave walls in Africa.  Don't believe it can be that bad?  At Amazon.com the summary reads as follows:

Like Ninjas? Zombies? Wolverine? Want to see Wolverine fight ninjas and zombies? Then this is the book for you! Wolverine returns to Japan only to get caught in the middle of an ancient war between gods and demons! Can Logan tip the balance for good - and save his soul, Japan and the world? And what does the mysterious Mark of Mana have to do with it? Collects Wolverine: Soultaker #1-5.

       Yes, it's that bad.  In the comic, Wolverine travels to Japan and unleashes the souls of two warring sister/gods out of a magical necklace.  Then, zombie-ninjas (both at the same time) come to like to track down the Sword of Blood, which houses the souls of the ancestors of the sisters.  With it, the evil sister can open a gateway to the demon realm and unleash them upon Earth because she was raised in the suburbs and likes to cause trouble when she's bored.  Wolverine, unbeknownst to the evil one, has his claws purified, blessed and covered in gold.  This is enough to destroy the bad sister and save everyone.  Oh, also, at the end one of Wolverine's friends shows up with a little girl.  The girl hears the sword whispering and the good sister is shocked.  Apparently only the descendants of her line can hear the souls inside!  Here we go again.... Hahaha.        Yeah, it would be funny except that's what the comic really is.  As a joke, it would be funny.  As a fanfic it would be typical.  As actual Marvel material it's depressing.  Yes folks, it's canon.  Accept it.  Marvel has published it.  Want to kill someone?  Me too.        My theory is someone wrote the fanfic, slept with everyone at Marvel and actually got it made.  That's all I can think of.  If you have a better theory, let me know.  Man, I don't even need to review this thing.  It's just pure tripe.  There is nothing to critique because... Well, imagine if you were an editor and someone handed you a manuscript.  Instead of ink, it was printed with actual human feces.  And the punctuation points are pubic lice.  Oh, and it's not original, it's just all of the exposition from every Stephen King story written in the 80s.  You're not going to say it's bad.  You're going to cry and run away from it.  That is my review.        So... full of rage.